Date: 12/23/2012

As many of you know marijuana is now legal in Washington State. What started out as a legitimate treatment for a pretty bad back problem has turned into my favorite leisure time activity, which recently outranked boozing as my favorite thing. My favorite, favorite thing is taking just enough medicine and hunkering down to write. Sometimes I do manage to partake in a tad too much medicine. This inevitably leads to me writing something that even as I type away I begin to realize that it's some stoner nonsense, then I delete it.

Well not anymore…

Date: 1/5/2013

All you need is a globe, a drill, and the world's greatest flash mob coordinator. You take the globe and locate the enemy territory. Take the drill and drill through the globe to locate the exact opposite side of the planet. Contact your flash mob coordinator. Get a giant crowd to meet at the location. Have everyone jump so that each and every person lands at the exact same time. Timing is going to be very important, so this is where the flash mob coordinator is needed. Just like launching your opponent’s croquet ball off into the bushes, your enemies will fly off into space.

Date: 1/7/2013

... and how I found that this condition may be the perfect writing sample in understanding my style. "As far as I know I have nothing planned or lined up for the rest of my life right now. FU sleep, I'm going to be productive!!! Well, until the pills kick in!!!!"

Let's break this down.

Date: 3/21/2013

Do you want to know why I hate action movies??? I used to think that it was when all the CG was added to heighten the action. Then after thinking hard about my writing process, and finally admitting just how much of myself I put into each of the characters, I realized I just can't relate. First off I would never get into a situation where action would be involved. Here are a few other reasons why….

Date: 4/1/2013

I was 21 the first time I smoked weed. I was hanging out with a friend who used to pester me to try. Neither my manhood nor sexuality was challenged; this pestering was out of a sincere belief that I would enjoy it.

One night after months of doing this, a group of us sat down to watch a movie, and out came the pipe. It started to get passed around. My friend reached across me to hand the pipe to the next person without even attempting to offer it to me.

And then…

Date: 4/2/2013

Shit, I’ve become one of those assholes. I’ve never sold a script and I’m going to tell others what it takes to be a success.

Well, here it is.

I’ve been writing screenplays for about 15 years now. You see that I’m not a writer. I write and would say I spend most of my time writing, but I’m not a writer. I think I’m close though. I’m in one of these phases.

Date: 4/3/2013

Cleaning my apartment typically means… picking up the laundry and trash… doing the few dishes I own… and then shoving everything else into random drawers… not the best cleaning technique… but it does lead to me finding interesting notes and stories when said drawers need to be sorted… Lung Toy… is one of these stories…

At 6’4”… I have to admit… I’m kind of obsessed with little people… because they seem to live a life that’s the opposite side of the same coin as me… with nothing but jokes about height… granted… my size is more intimidating so people can get away with more when it comes to the littles… which is why I used to word midget so easily… especially after working with the management team for Beetlejuice from Howard Stern… who they called Midget Wranglers… and is what inspired this old/weird note…

Date: 3/15/2014

I forgot how bizarre new hire training is.

Today I had to do a training module on Diversity and being Inclusive. I don't blame the company that fired me for what I am about to write because I've seen this in every corporate job that I've ever had.

First off I find the words that the people who created this training module decided to use were fascinating. Throughout the entire course, they never used the word prejudice and seemed to avoid the word judge in any form (i.e. judgmental, judging, judged...)