Resolution #284: Buy a Riley Martin Symbol To Get Tattooed On My Foot...

Date: 10-11-2014

Due Date: 10-11-2015

The Resolution: As I've pointed out in other posts I've been a Howard Stern fan for over half my life now. I'm a fan of the show not because of the porn stars, strippers, or celebrity interviews; I'm a fan of how Howard gives everyone a voice.

He has a magical way of talking to anyone in a way that’s fun while genuinely exploring what makes a person tick.

One of my favorite Wack Pack guests is Riley Martin "friend of the aliens." I remember over a decade ago when he first appeared on the air as a caller. He had a fun crazy story about The Coming of Tan, the leader of an alien group on their way to Earth to save the few people who own these symbols created by Mr. Martin.

Whether or not there is any truth to Riley's tales he creates such a vivid world, going into every minute detail of this plan of Tan the Biaviian.

Years went by and Riley seemed to disappear. Then I started seeing him pop up on daytime talk shows like Jerry Springer and I was introduced to Coast to Coast AM where he would pop up from time to time.

He didn't have his own show on Sirius yet so it was exciting to see a Wack Packer showing up on non-Stern programming selling the same story. It’s like seeing a fictional character who’s escaped from his own show to then randomly appear on other programs.

I've always wanted to buy a symbol as a goof but with the way the world seems to be heading, it seems I may end up having to use this symbol in the near future.

Result #284: It's Sad To Think… But At This Point… I’m Probably Poorer Than Riley Martin And Can't Afford One Of His Symbols…

Update #1: The Conclusion…

Date: 10-11-2015

Wow, I must have been very optimistic about things when I posted this resolution. Not only did I think I would be able to afford to buy a $50 symbol to get me on the mothership when it arrives but I also thought I'd be able to afford to get said symbol tattooed. Meanwhile… I've failed multiple resolutions because I've failed to come up with $10 in time for their deadline.

Some day I hope to either get my act together to get to live a life that I'm happy with or better yet something magical happens like an alien invasion to switch up the narrative of this planet. It would be nice to have a solid answer to something supernatural before I die.

Oh well, I'll keep you posted on when I can finally afford my symbol, and if I ever do end up getting said symbol tattooed.