Date: 12-4-2014

Due Date: 12-4-2015

The Resolution: The other day at work I noticed that we stopped awarding an Employee of the Month back in January. Again, this led to my growing hatred of corporate America. Not only do they cut benefits, pay rates, and staff size, they're also taking away acknowledgment of the remaining, understaffed, crew's hard work.

This got me thinking that if I ever became the big boss of a company I'd make sure to at least have a good employee recognition program. This led me to the realization that I work hard on TheWickerBreaker.com and barely get any recognition whatsoever.

I know I have a few loyal readers but due to my own self-hate, I tend to ignore my own accomplishments to trick myself into thinking that it's me and not my work that is failing.

Maybe I should start acknowledging myself before I expect any praise from others.

That's why starting January I will create an employee of the month program for TheWickerBreaker.com.

I know I'm the only one who works on this site but who knows maybe by this time next year I'll have an intern or something to take away my reign as the top employee.

Date: 12-5-2014

Due Date: 12-5-2015

The Resolution: Once again, while searching for resolutions on Amazon.com I came across the book Creative Workshop by David Sherman. It was the first book that caught my eye so I figured, 'why not?'

For some reason… I wasn't all that enthusiastic about this choice until I clicked the “Look Inside” link.

Upon reading the introduction I realized that I have absolutely no training in design.

This got me very excited about this resolution because learning design might help me with the site, my drawing, photography, and basically every other creative endeavor I pursue.

I can't wait to start this one.

Date: 12-6-2014

Due Date: 12-6-2015

The Resolution: About 17 years ago I moved up to Seattle on a whim. I found a lump on my testicle while living in an unfinished garage because I couldn't stand living at home anymore. After about a year my roommates decided they were going to move and no one seemed interested in what my plan was.

I've always had a fun group of friends in my life… and no matter how long these friendships last I always feel like a performer and never fully attached… After I felt abandoned by my friends and family… I decided to make a random move… across the country… to race what I thought was testicular cancer… with an attempt to Leaving Las Vegas this world and destroy myself with alcohol in Seattle.

I think due to the divorce of my parents when I was very young I developed this feeling of detachment to cope with my abandonment issues. The moment I sense any form of relationship turning sour I completely shut down. I feel if I time it correctly I'll continue to have fond memories of everyone instead of waiting for the complete collapse.

These abandonment issues have turned me into an abandoner.

When I found out that a couple of my best friends were having a kid and everyone joked about how I would be a great drunk uncle. Meanwhile… I have five real nieces and nephews that I'm a horrible uncle to. I might visit once a year, making no effort to keep up with what these kids are up to in an attempt to avoid getting too close.

I'm always trying to avoid getting too close.

Now I'm going through another rough stage of my life where I'm fleeing my friends, but rather than move to some random new place, I'm going to move back home.

I've always gotten along with my actual family but there always seemed to have been a chaotic outsider driving wedges in what would otherwise be a happy family.

Things seem to have calmed down so I think it's finally time to learn what it's like to have a family.

Who knows, maybe if I work through this family issue then I’ll finally figure out how all other forms of relationship really work.

At least that's what I hope will happen.

Date: 12-7-2014

Due Date: 12-7-2015

The Resolution: Granted I don't have a traditional stutter where one gets caught up in trying to spit out one word. With my stutter… I'll be talking just fine and then just freeze up completely for a second as I reorganize my thoughts to continue the sentence.

I think part of the problem is that I'm alone so much that I'm used to the high speed scattered thoughts of my inner-monologue. I think I'm also so honed in on micro-facial expressions that I'm sure I misinterpret that I lose my confidence causing me to shift directions to win the listener back.

Someday I wish to give stand-up comedy another shot, but this lack of an ability to express myself the way I see things playing out in my head is a real speed bump.

I know I've already resolved to learn self-hypnosis but being that I don't know what it feels like to be hypnotized I figure why not start with a professional.

Hopefully… I don't end up just quacking like a duck every time I hear a bell rings for the rest of my life.

Date: 12-8-2014

Due Date: 12-8-2015

The Resolution: Today I was looking for a somewhat easy yet interesting resolution; when I found out about extreme connect the dot books on Amazon.com.

I have a theory that by looking at the pattern of dots I will start to see what goes on in the preplanning of a picture. I also imagine having to look at two dots to visualize the type of line I have to draw to get from A to B will be beneficial.

Who knows?

To make this resolution more exciting, by this time next year, I will have created an extreme dot to dot book of my very own.

Date: 12-9-2014

Due Date: 12-9-2015

The Resolution: As I've pointed out before, the art resolutions are my favorites. Last night I was using the airbrush tool in Photoshop when I started to think, "I wonder what it's like to use a real airbrush?"

And here we are today.

When I was searching for a photo to use as the header I found the gem above. It got me thinking how awesome it would be to have this image of a couple in an airbrush pose, standing in front of an airbrushed van, airbrushed onto another van.

There's no way that I'll be able to afford a van and professional airbrush equipment or the skills to pull off something like this within a year.

This resolution is about learning the art form.

The van will be a future experiment.

Date: 12-10-2014

Due Date: 12-10-2015

The Resolution: I totally forgot that I used to this, but ever since I was a kid, up until I turned about 23, I used to break into my rendition of Bugs Bunny's tap routine during awkward silences.

I think there was a while during this time period where I really thought I could figure the art of tap dance even though all I ever did was rock my hands back and forth while shuffling my feet like a moron.

By this time next year… I will have bought a pair of tap shoes and will take a lesson to legitimately perform the Bug's Bunny dance.

Who knows?

Maybe I'll like tap dancing and learn a few more steps.

Date: 12-11-2014

Due Date: 12-11-2015

The Resolution: Etiquette seems to be or is rapidly becoming a thing of the past.

I actually do believe this but not for reasons that you might think…

Well unless you know me and my hatred of certain rules from the past that we blindly follow.

Some say it's for the worse but those people are stuffy, pretentious, a'holes, and usually racist.

These are people who are so caught up in rules designed to hide individualized personalities to the point where if you were to hang out with those who are educated to be polite you’re constantly being judged for having a real personality.

I think etiquette is just another thing that's evolving and we're going through the phase of trying to figure it out.

The rise of almost everyone having a voice through social media and the internet is leading to more selfish and narcissistic tenancies while at the same time leading to many new forms of collaborations that are changing the world as we know it.

We're just going through growing pains as we continue to evolve into the technological revolution.

Bah, none of that's important.

This resolution isn't about picking apart etiquette.

I do think politeness important to humanity.

I was pretty much left to figure out the whole etiquette thing on my own.

I have no idea what they teach as modern etiquette. I just have a fear that the lessons are designed in a desperate attempt to hold on to a romanticized past.

That's the main reason I am interested in taking a class.

Date: 12-12-2014

Due Date: 12-12-2015

The Resolution: My grandparents had one of these Jiggle Machines when I was a kid. I can't remember when they got rid of it or if they ever did.

Once I got too old to sit on the belt like a swing and hold on to ride the thing like a bull rider, it ended up blended into the background as the next round of kids grew old enough to be allowed to ride the machine and rattle their developing brains. Of all the time this Jiggle Machine was around I never saw one adult use it as a non-novelty piece of workout equipment.

So here's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to track down a Jiggle Machines and seriously follow a work out regiment the way the machine was meant to be used when it was first invented.

As always, I'll keep you posted.

Date: 12-13-2014

Due Date: 12-13-2015

The Resolution: I know I've said this in past posts my original dream as a child was to be a stand-up comedian. I was the youngest of two for about thirteen years then became the first middle child of four. It was my job to be the comic relief to a stressful situation.

I was needed a lot.

This led me to a life of constantly trying to get at least one person to laugh in any situation. I think I'm funny but not in a joke-telling sort of way. My jokes are very reactionary to what's happening around me. Combine this with the fact that I'm actually very shy and you get someone who is terrified of the spotlight unless it "accidentally" lands on them.

I gave stand-up a shot last time I lived in San Diego, performing at what had to have been an illegal operation. It was a converted mechanics garage, all ages, and bring your own booze. The audience was always filled with nothing but performers. At this place… the show went on until every name was pulled from a fishbowl.

It was actually pretty amazing.

One thing that sucks about this year is that I've become more detached from people than I've ever felt in my life. The silver lining to this detachment is that I've grown to genuinely stop caring about those who are critical of me.

It's pretty impressive how much giving up on life leads you to have more self-confidence.

I'm going to wait until I get back to Cali but by this time next year… I will have made an attempt to reboot my dream to become a stand-up comedian.

Hell… the stories that I have from the resolution attempts alone are enough material to make a pretty good stand-up routine.

Date: 12-14-2014

Due Date: 12-14-2015

The Resolution: I don't know if it's because I feel so comfortable having a computer keyboard as my main tool for creativity but for some reason I'm beginning to think that the piano might be the instrument for me.

Granted I've had a guitar for about six months now and still have no idea how to play. Part of me feels that the guitar is more of an instrument for showcasing the finished product. While I feel the piano lends itself to be a better instrument to write the first draft.

At least that's my theory on how it would work for me. I can see myself tinkering more on the piano trying to find the sounds. With the guitar, I feel I would be so hung up on trying to create the proper sound that it would take me much longer to explore.

Either way… I think learning both will benefit my scattered brain.

Date: 12-15-2014

Due Date: 12-15-2015

The Resolution: Being a huge Howard Stern fan I've always dreamed of the day that I could hire an intern, paid… or unpaid I like the title. As this site keeps growing and growing (content-wise not popularity-wise)… I'm finding I need help in maintaining the behind-the-scenes minutia of blogging.

Right now I can see two areas that would both benefit an intern as well as TheWickerBreaker.com.

One is the general maintenance of the site both visually and adding things like tags, categories, RSS feeds, and all the other things that I've heard of but have no idea how to implement to make the site show up in more search engines.

The second would be an editor/layout person. I tend to write in a very stream of conscious style which often leads to funky sentences and typos. I try to do my best at proofreading but with all the deadlines I give myself in a day… I don't have time to make things perfect.

Being that I don't make a dime off this site and plan to continue these challenges as a blog for the rest of my life, I hope these positions will eventually evolve into paying gigs.

At least that's how it plays out in my head.

Does anyone know if I would even qualify to hire interns?

Date: 12-16-2014

Due Date: 12-16-2015

The Resolution: I love sleep. I have several resolutions here to improve my sleep, I also have a couple of resolutions to learn to induce dreams to report my findings. The only thing I'm missing is an attempt to control my dreams so that I actually have something to report.

Within the next year… I will go through the book How to Control Your Dreams by David M. Jinks and test all 79 dream control techniques to learn which one works the best for me.

I'll let you know how it turns out.

Date: 12-17-2014

Due Date: 12-17-2015

The Resolution: This resolution is a bit uninspired... I don't even have a pet :(

A couple of months ago a customer started talking to me as I pointed out where the Airborne is... at the Walgreens that I work at… She said something about training to be a pet psychic.

I remember at the time thinking, this sounds like something dumb enough to be one of my resolutions.

I was so inspired that it took me over two months to get around to it.

But...

I am moving home…

My mom has a dog…

And I will have some free time while job hunting.

This might end up being pretty interesting after all!

Date: 12-18-2014

Due Date: 12-18-2015

The Resolution: I don't have the design planned out quite yet. I'm also not sure whether I want to buy the stone with just my name and birth date leaving the rest blank for a day when the end seems near or whether I want to choose the entire design now and be stuck with it like a tattoo.

I have a year to figure it out.

Date: 12-19-2014

Due Date: 12-19-2015

The Resolution: I've always been a fan of the theories and philosophy of science. I read books and watch documentaries about scientists but when it comes to actual physical science I don't know all that much.

I took basic science in high school but didn't pay that much attention. The only thing I faintly remember is a teacher once put raisins in Mountain Dew and told us the raisins were some form of sewage treatment thing and that the Mountain Dew was supposed to be urine.

The raisins appeared to swim up and down as if they were alive and the teacher finished the lesson off by drinking the concoction.

To this day I have no idea what I was supposed to have learned there but I will always remember the showmanship.

I also remember dissecting owl vomit to find mouse bones.

I think it's time for me to stop just yelling SCIENCE and start learning what it actually is.

Date: 12-20-2014

Due Date: 12-20-2015

The Resolution: I never figured out how to climb a rope, granted the first and only time I ever really tried was about 25 years ago during the Presidential Field Challenge thing we had to be a part of while I was in elementary school.

Part of the problem was that I was a fat kid and didn't have the upper body strength the other problem was that I didn't really grasp the technique. I remember having some kind of cartoon physics going through my head as I just clung to base squirming like an uncoordinated inchworm.

I never revisited this challenge because it seemed so pointless, but now I'm kind of intrigued.

I have no idea whether or not I can climb a rope right now but I do think I can figure it out this round.

We'll see.

Now I just need to find a rope to climb.

Date: 12-21-2014

Due Date: 12-21-2015

The Resolution: I heard something interested years ago when tiny motorcycles seemed to the new thing. Someone told me that professional racers like to train on these novelty-sized bikes because learning to properly control something so small made riding full-scale motorcycles seem like a cakewalk.

As I continue to learn various forms of art, I'm interested in putting this same concept to the test. Not only do I feel this will help me with larger pieces where there's a much bigger margin of error but I also feel this would allow me to really get in there for some fine-tuned finishing touches.

That's the theory at least.

We'll see how it works.

Date: 12-22-2014

Due Date: 12-22-2015

The Resolution: I remember way back when I was in high school as we approached our final year, everyone seemed to be working on developing the perfect signature. It was as if this was the true transition into adulthood.

It was a time when we had to start submitting serious paperwork on our own to finally get the freedom of no longer being a kid. Whether this meant college applications, job applications, leases, checks, etc... it was important that our printed representation of ourselves was just as flawless as the information we were sharing.

I had a pretty decent signature at the time.

Then I became a real adult and found it didn't matter.

At the age of twenty-one… I started working in the international shipping department at Amazon.com, where I had to sign hundreds of forms a day. I had no time for perfection so my signature devolved to the scribble in the photo above.

Now I rarely have to sign things but the lazy penmanship is embedded deep in my brain.

This year I'm going to work on developing a real signature once again.

Date: 12-23-2014

Due Date: 12-23-2015

The Resolution: I have all my writing backed up in several locations on several devices. For the most part… I feel pretty safe that I’m not going to lose anything. The only problem is that all these safety nets only exist digitally.

I have over seventeen years of prolific ramblings saved in these multiple locations. Not that I think it’s going to happen but sometimes I’m struck with worse case scenarios of a digital collapse leading me to question just how safe these backups are.

Also… I often find material that I've forgotten all about due to the maze of folders in which my musings are stored.

Not only will I feel more safe having hard copies of all my work but it'll be nice to actually see what all this effort looks like in a physical form.