Date: 6-7-2014

Due Date: 6-7-2015

Resolution: I was really into Arrested Development when it first came out. I watched every episode the day that it aired for the entire first season. Then something happened between season one and season two where I not only stopped watching the show but I also stopped watching TV altogether.

Last year when the new season was released I vowed to watch the entire series in order to enjoy these new episodes. Well, that never happened and here we are today. I'm officially adding the viewing of all of Arrested Development to the list of things that I will finally be getting to, through this resolution challenge.

Date: 6-8-2014

Due Date: 6-8-2015

Resolution: Way back when I was attending film school I started to write a feature-length screenplay entitled AA: Alcoholics Annoy Us (AKA Rehab For Quitters.) This is the story of Doug who's winding down an uneventful two-year stint of court-order sobriety.

During this sentence, he loses his friends to probational compliance and boredom. Upon completing his mandatory prohibition Doug begins to question the point of continuing to live a sober life having only himself to answer to and no moral issues against his former drunken life.

The only thing holding him back is the fear of hurting his pseudo-sponsor Nicole. She's a pseudo-sponsor and not a full sponsor for the exact reasons AA discourages male / female sponsorship. Doug has developed feelings for her and is fully aware that even though he is fine with the idea of revisiting old habits this temptation risks ruining the friendship or worse, her sobriety.

Though torn, Doug's urge to return to the exciting ways of his inebriated past is very strong. It doesn't help that there's also a mysterious seven-foot-tall pink elephant trying to draw Doug back into his old habits as an escape from the mundane day to day life of a sober reality.

The pink elephant eventually wins and Doug cashes in his sobriety chip for a drunken night with new friends. He wakes the next morning with a hangover and a smile. He's certain that even though this may not be the life for everyone it is the life for him. He then decides to start a support group to help people live a responsible life while enjoying their vices.

Of course, this doesn't work for everyone and it ruins the relationship between Doug and Nicole. This leads Doug to fall into a negative example of why his plan seems to be impossible. Rather than give in to the decline he decides to put in the tough work to make this plan to become responsibly irresponsible a reality.

During the writing process,I fell in love with the characters and really let them do whatever they needed to do to move the story along. I was very proud of their choices but by the time the assignment was due I was on page 88 (a decent page count to wrap up a feature-length screenplay) my problem was that I hadn't reached the midpoint to my story yet (an event that should be taking place around page 45 or so.)

They say that it's good to over-write to have things to tighten up in draft two but it became apparent to me that screenwriting wasn't the proper medium for this story. At the time I was only interested in writing screenplays and figured I'd eventually revisit the story and cut it down to a reasonable length.

Now that I'm interested in other forms of fictional writing I figure this might be the time to revisit AA in an attempt to adapt it into a novella. I know I just resolved to write a feature, but that story is still festering inside me and I really need a long-format writing project in my life to work on RIGHT NOW.

Date: 6-9-2014

Due Date: 6-9-3015

Resolution: When I fantasized about having an in-unit washer and dryer in my apartment this was the last thing I had in mind.

Yesterday when I went down to my apartment complex's laundry room I found that my key no longer fit in the door. I tried way more times than I needed and no matter what angle I tried it was growing more and more apparent that this was a new lock.

I gave up my effort and returned to my abode to call my landlord to see what was up. This is how I was informed that due to multiple machine burglaries the property owners decided to give up on the whole coin-operated money-making venture and shut down the laundry room. I was informed that I could walk to the laundromat on 65th st.

The problem is I live on 90th street, just sold my truck, and had a hard enough time working up the motivation to head down the two flights of stairs to do laundry, let alone a 25 block venture.

It's really beginning to seem that the world is working hard to encourage my shut-in ways. Now that I know there's a simple hand-cranked washing machine that I can operate in my own bathroom I'm kind of excited.

The laundry room only had two washers and two dryers to begin with. With 24 units it was often difficult to get the timing down as to when the machines would not be in use by other tenants or broken down from overuse.

If anything this will probably lead to fewer cases of giving in to re-wearing a dirty shirt as I exit the house swearing I'll remember to pick up a roll of quarters on my way home. It also helps that I'm whittling wardrobe as part of Resolution #73 and also may end up preparing me for tiny house living!

Maybe everything does happen for a reason?

Date: 6-10-2014

Due Date: 6-10-2015

Resolution: A couple of years ago I decided to take up painting. Other than the cleanup process, I'm a big fan. As with all hobbies that require money I had to take a small break that damn near turned into retirement when my freelance work started to dry up.

I have another resolution to get back into painting and learn more about the technical aspects. Just like writing I feel there's always room for more art-themed resolutions. I'm just waiting until I can afford a decent easel because having to work with an unstable surface was another issue that I had with my first stab at the art form.

I think about painting a lot. Last night I started to think about the first painting I ever made. I gave it away as a gift and kind of miss it. I have no intention of asking for it back, but this did get me thinking about giving The Dancing Robot another go.

Then it came to me... VELVET!!!

I feel that my simplistic yet quirky style lends itself well to the medium of velvet. Who knows? Maybe this will be my escape from the day job.

A man can dream.

Date: 6-11-2014

Due Date: 6-11-2015

Resolution: The other day I was watching the Jim Henson reality show with a friend. This is a show where contestants are given the challenge to create a Muppet creature and have it act out a little scene.

During the creation process, there was a lot of sculpting going on. It looked fun and made me really want to give it a shot. I figured I would work sculpting into a resolution somehow but didn't really have an end game as to what to sculpt or why.

This morning I figured it out. I need a Buddha for my eventual Zen Garden, so here we are.

As I was hunting for a Buddha image to use as a header image I couldn't help but be reminded of my Wicker Breaking Yokozuna logo. I literally added that aspect of the challenge as I was typing.

My uncle is actually a great sculptor so I'm hoping that it will just come naturally. I doubt it, but we'll see.

Date: 6-12-2014

Due Date: 6-12-2015

Resolution: I have an interesting history with tennis. I wouldn't say that I'm a fan of watching the sport or that I'm any good at swinging a racket but for some reason, this classy game keeps popping up popping up in my un-classy life.

When I was in Jr. High School I moved into our garage where I would spend hours locked in an ongoing grudge match against an invisible opponent better known as the wall. I had my own set of rules and took them very seriously. Even though I was playing myself there was no guarantee that I was going to win.

A couple of years later after failing freshmen PE, for having too many non-suits (refusing to dress in gym clothes on mile day,) all the other freshmen failures and I seemed to have tapped into some form of collective consciousness and all signed up for racket sports.

It turns out we all used the same logic while picking from the list of our PE options, "Hm... this one seems to have the least amount of running." This group mentality led sophomore racket sports to be one of the most fun classes of my high school career.

Every day was like being a part of a ragtag group of underdogs training for the big game only none of us got any better or gained an appreciation for the sport. No matter what technique the coach tried to teach us, every match quickly devolved into a game of who could hit their opponent with the ball the most. This really pissed off the one kid who actually was into tennis.

I've tried revisiting the sport when my mom bought me a Wii for Christmas but it just isn't the same. I need something with enough heft to swing and something physical to fit and obstetrical and boundaries to make it a reality. I could probably go back to playing the wall but it would be nice to have a human to interact with as I aim for them... er I mean... get a good volley going with them.

Hopefully, this history with tennis doesn't scare off any potential challengers. I promise that I'll play nice.

Date: 6-13-2014

Due Date: 6-13-2015

Resolution: I know this might sound like a lame resolution, but my work doesn't allow us to carry our cellphones while on the clock. In fact, they have us lock them in our lockers to ensure we don't sneak a peek. I can't tell you how many times I've lost ideas to trusting my memory since starting this job.

The problem is, I actually do trust my memory. Despite some of my lifestyle choices I actually do have a real good memory. I think this comes from obsessively reliving moments in search of the story. Either that or I've got a touch of that Marilu Henner Super Memory Recall, but just a touch.

Though my memory is good when it comes to events and interactions, I struggle when it comes to retaining some of the less inspired concepts and stories that I do come up with before I'm able to develop them further. This is one of the problems of working in volume.

My cellphone used to come in handy for these seedlings of thought, but with this technology ban, I had to come up with another way to take notes.

What did I do before technology?

Oh yeah... paper and pen... Duh...

Again this may sound lame but after losing two ideas today I decided that I had to make it an action item and add it to the list for the sake of accountability.

If you spot me at work and I don't have a notepad and pen on me, I'll let you write whatever note you like on my arm and I'll share it with the internet when I get home.

Date: 6-14-2014

Due Date: 6-14-2015

Resolution: While at work today, completing some monotonous task to the soundtrack of the almost as monotonous music that broadcasts through the store's PA system, I snapped out of the escape from reality that I was enjoying in my head as I thought of a joke to post on my Facebook page based on the song that was playing at the time.

Luckily I had my notepad on me because of yesterday's resolution and was able to jot down said joke to use at a later date. Or never, the joke wasn't all that funny but it did lead me down a train of thought that brought me to this resolution.

You know how I watched the same movie every week for an entire year and wrote a brand new movie review following each of my viewings? That same type of logic kicked in as I started to wonder whether or not it would be interesting to rank the same 50 or so songs into a top ten list to be posted every other week.

I'm pretty sure that I'll come up with a new theme for each list and I doubt there will be any change in the store's playlist so this should be pretty interesting.

Who knows?

Maybe I'll become the next Billboard!!!

Stay tuned for Wednesday, when I will be posting my first list and buying more resolution supplies!!!

Date: 6-15-2014

Due Date: 6-15-2015

Resolution: ... by baby I mean high school egg baby... and by “teach it to fly,” I plan to tie said egg to a kite to see if I can get said kite to take off and land without cracking said egg baby.

How I got here is pretty convoluted so bear with me...

Today was one of those days that I just wanted to end the moment I woke up. As I was mindlessly applying price changes at work I noticed we had kites that were going on clearance.

This got me thinking how, back in the day, people used to say, "Go fly a kite," instead of, "Go F yourself."

This led me to imagine today in human form, a target for my grumpy, sleep-deprived, hate. A conglomeration of all my frustrations that I could approach and yell, "F U and the kite you rode in on!"

Then I thought, "I haven't flown a kite in a long time. That could be fun!"

As with everything else that I conclude may be fun, I decided to make a resolution out of it but what's interesting about flying a kite?

My first thought was Ben Franklin.

Part of me was tempted to see if I could discover a new source of renewable energy by tying random crap to the kite and flying it during a lightning storm.

Who knows?

Maybe something magical will happen when I lightning bolt hits a USB Thumb Drive.

Science may be getting a little too full of itself with all its technology and whatnot. Our four fathers of science only needed things like kites and keys and apples and trees.

Then I started to think of the reality of sky fishing for electricity and came to the conclusion that it would be rather boring, just sitting there in a chair, looking to the sky, waiting to strike oil with random tchotchkes tied to a kite.

Back when I was a kid, my dad bought me one of those fancy kites that you have to control with both hands. Though I figured out how to build the thing I never really figured out how to get it in the air.

I remembered watching the pros who effortlessly flew their fancy kites as if they were a part of the Blue Angels. They not only got their kites off the ground, they were able to gently land them back in the take-off position.

That is what then lead me to think, "Hm... I wonder if I could get one of those fancy kites to take off and land with an egg tied to it?"

And here we are!!!

Date: 6-16-2014

Due Date: 6-16-2015

Resolution: I'm currently reading the book The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut Jr as part of my resolution to get at least a half hours’ worth of reading in each day. There's a character in the story that's growing to be my hero.

Noel Constant isn't a major character at this point in the story but he is the father of the main character and his choices prior to our introduction to this world end up being a driving force in the story.

Dissatisfied by his failures, whether real or perceived, Noel Constant reclusively locks himself away in a tiny rundown motel room to live out the rest of his days alone. He spends his life saving, which he earned through inheritance, on a whacky investment scheme which leads him to become the richest man in the world. Even then he continues his self-imposed sentence of misery in his tiny room.

I don't have the $8000 dollars the Noel Constant started with but I do have $100 and the same pessimistic drive to turn this novel approach to investing into a stockpile of wealth.

Probably not but that could just be the pessimism speaking.

In the book Noel Constant takes the first sentence from the bible: "In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth," and pairs off every two letters to form the initials: "I.N., T.H., E.B., E.G., I.N., N.I., N.G., G.O., D.C., R.E., A.T., E.D., T.H., E.H., E.A., V.E., N.A., N.D., T.H., E.E., A.R., T.H.."

He then takes the first set of initials, I.N., and invests his entire nest egg into a corporation that shares the same initials, International Nitrate. As soon as he doubles his value he sells all of his stocks and moves on to the next set of initials for his next nest egg investment.

He not only makes it through this introductory sentence but continues to the next line, the next paragraph then continues along making money hand over fist using this biblical code.

I figure, being that this investment scheme is about doubling your money, starting with less only means less risk and just a little more time.

I'm not a religious man so I figured rather than pick my investments based on a book of faith, I'll make my picks based on the book that inspired this novel approach to investments.

The first sentence of The Sirens of Titan reads, "I guess somebody out there likes me - Malachi Constant," broken down it's, "I.G., U.E., S.S., S.O., M.E., B.O., D.Y., O.U., T.T., H.E., R.E., L.I., K.E., S.M., E.M., A.L., A.C., H.I., C.O., N.S., T.A., N.T."

Once I figure out the appropriate I.G. initialed company for my initial investment, I will purchase a measly $100 worth of stocks, follow the rules, and see where I am a year from now.

Be prepared to be asked for suggestions as to which companies I should invest in, though I wouldn't be surprised if I get stuck at I.G. for the rest of my life.

Date: 6-17-2014

Due Date: 6-17-2014

Resolution: Resolution or not I've been putting this off for far too long and for far too many reasons.

Today is the day the Salvation Army will be taking away most of my pre-apartment material possessions as part of Resolution #125. As I was digging through my "storage room" I started to think about what to do with all the extra space.

I also stumbled upon one of the two video projectors that I own. I had to decide whether to keep it and use it or get rid of it and free myself from the clutter.

I bought one projector while shopping for supplies when I first got my apartment. The projector cost 15 dollars on clearance! Even though I already had a 55 inch TV this thing was 15$ and I had a giant white wall that is perfect for projection! It was so cheap because it uses a standard light bulb as its globe. The image is terrible, but it's a fun item to own and use especially when projecting deep sea documentaries on the ceiling.

The second projector was a hand me down that was handed to me as a housewarming/farewell gift by a friend who was leaving the country. He also gave me an eight-foot wide screen to be all fancy. I fully intended to set up this projector with some permanence. I never intended it to be my prime source for television watching but I also never intended for it to live in the closest forever.

Now that I will no longer have the non-projecting big screen TV to compete with, along with more room and a blank canvas to work with, I feel much more inclined to make this happen. Also, as I begin to own less it harder to justify owning items just for the sake of owning them.

I can't wait to either get rid of more or finally get around to using everything I own as intended. Both of these items will remain in the keep pile and I'm sure both will come in handy as I continue to make my way through the television and movie watching resolutions that I've made and have yet to make.

To a clutter-free life!!!

Date: 6-18-2014

Due Date: 6-18-2015

Resolution: I've never really figured out how to save money. Life has always been a matter of feast or famine with me. I had always heard of food banks but never thought I would need one. Even at my most broke, I was rarely more than two days’ worth of scraping to get by until I would get some form of a paycheck.

That is until last year.

I started getting higher paying/bigger gigs in my freelance work but I was also getting less of them. My head didn't allow me to see this trade-off. I was living as if I were getting the higher paid gigs with the same consistency that I would get the lower-paid gigs.

This isn't to say I was living high in the hog, making it rain where ever I went.

No.

This meant I would go out to dinner and a bar with some friends. This meant I would replace the shoes that were falling apart on my feet without having to wait to make sure I had a new gig lined up first. This meant I had both Hulu and Netflix at the same time.

That's how I splurge.

Then I went through another famine. There didn't seem to be an end in sight. I swallowed my pride went over to the food bank directly across the street from my apartment. I've never had a problem with the concept of a food bank, I just didn't think I deserved it. After all, I'm the one who took the gamble by choosing art as a career and lost.

But I was desperate for food and that's why they're there.

I didn't use their service every week but it came in very handy more than once (more than ten times even,) because of the food bank I was able to extend the stint working my dream job for an extra year, so I figure now is the time to give back.

At first, I was going to resolve to give something crazy in one big gesture but instead, I decided to give back the same way I used the service, only I’ll give food from time to time and whenever I can, instead of just getting whenever I’m in need.

Date: 6-19-2014

Due Date: 6-19-2015

Resolution: The other day I was trying to get rid of a large chunk of my worldly possessions by donating them to the Salvation Army. They showed up with a big truck and didn't take a single item.

I knew this stuff was going to be hard to get rid of and it seemed like all roads were leading to the dump. The only problem is, I no longer own a truck so this would involve finding someone to pay, burden, or both. I quickly decided to demolish everything and sneak the rubbish down to the dumpster, one piece at a time.

So far I got rid of my love seat and have the pieces to my box springs waiting to be ditched throughout the week.

Of the items I was getting rid of, my big screen TV was the only thing I hesitated to ditch. I have a lot of fond memories with this thing. The first memory is buying the thing while coming down from mushrooms about 16 years ago. This was around the only time in my life that I felt rich and was able to buy an item like this on a drug-fueled whim.

I lived in a party house and this thing quickly became the centerpiece to many crazy nights. It moved with me from house to house and even ended up with me in Canada when I moved there to go to school. It moved back home with me to San Diego where I tried to turn my schooling into a career by living closer to LA, only to move back with me to Seattle where I actually started to work in film.

Up until a few years ago, television, in general, was a huge part of my life. Whether or not I was watching anything that Big TV was always on. As time went by and my roommate count dropped lower and lower I spent more time in front of a computer monitor alone and less time in front of the television with friends.

I think the lack of a shared viewing experience is the ultimate reason my interest in entertainment has diminished. I've replaced ruining TV by talking over shows to silently listen to podcast conversations as I write down my words.

This Big Screen TV is not only a connection to the shows that I watched but the friends from all over the world that shared these times with me. I really didn't want to let it go but I also don't really want to have this type of attachment to a material good, especially now that it doesn't work as well and mainly is taking up limited space.

As I took apart the TV's back panel to make the TV garbage-can-sized, I started to think if got rid of the back hump this thing can hug pretty close to the wall.

Then I looked to the starts of my indoor garden and realized I could gut this thing, add a grow light, and repurpose this thing into an artsy planter!!!

Repurposing would make it new and useful again and that's what I'll do. This will allow me to hang on to the memories while still getting rid of the junk.

Date: 6-20-2014

Due Date: 6-20-2015

Resolution: I'm not joking at all when I say that the National Lampoon Vacation series is my favorite movie collection of movies of all time. The original Vacation was a family favorite that we watch over and over again. I think it was a favorite because the Griswolds reflected our family dynamic before the divorce.

Because of this early and awkwardly emotional connection to the Vacation franchise, there's no such thing as a bad installment in my eyes.

Even European Vacation has its moments...

And one of those moments is when the family gets a fashion make-over when they lose their luggage in Italy.

In coming up with this resolution I wasn't sure if I was a bigger fan of Clark's crazy breakdancer suit or Rusty's mid-evil, whatever he ended up in. Though funnier, my fear with Rusty's outfit is that I'd just be confused for a LARPer and I'd still be in need of formal attire.

Therefore, Clark Griswold's crazy grey breakdancer suit won out. Though looking at it now it doesn't seem all that crazy. I kind of like it.

Date: 6-21-2014

Due Date: 6-21-2015

Resolution: I've always wished that was better at drawing. I feel it would make me a better painter, animator, and graphic designer. Keep in mind I'm a beginner at best in all three of these hobbies, but who knows???

If I didn't feel like such a hack, having to resort to repurposing images found on the internet to make up for my shortcomings, maybe I would spend more time trying to express the visual side of my imagination to then share the end product with all of you out there.

My problem is that I don't practice.

Being that this ability to draw is only a fantasy, my lack of skill doesn't come into play until I have a specific project in mind. I then do the best that I can and usually come up with something cute for someone who has no idea what they’re doing.

Unlike writing, where I spend as much time as possible trying to hone my skills, I never pick up a pencil and sketch pad just to practice.

In an attempt to become better than good enough while also being able to gauge my progress I will sketch a portrait of the above image of Mr. Belevedere in drag once a month for an entire year to see and showcase my growth as an artist.

Date: 6-22-2014

Due Date: 6-22-2014

Resolution: As I pointed out in yesterday's resolution I always wished that I was better at drawing. Moments after posting that I would be sketching a monthly portrait of Mr. Belvedere in drag I went to Amazon and ordered the above book that claims it can teach one to draw in 30 days.

At first, I wanted to use this book to help me with my first month's attempt at the portrait but then I realized that I don't have a base level example of my artistic abilities to gauge any potential progress.

That said, the moment I finish my first untrained sketch of Mr. Beleveder in drag I will start this 30-day learning experiment to see how well I improve with portrait number two.

Date: 6-23-2014

Due Date: 6-23-2015

Resolution: Every night when I lay down to go to sleep a can't help but notice the laser light show being put on by all the electronics I own. Every direction I look there seems to be some device that's plugged in, powered off, and flashing some crazy pattern of light to remind me of my stupid purchase.

It's not horrible but then again I've been living this way for years. We all have but growing used to something annoying to the point where it's tolerable is not ideal, especially when there's a simple solution.

Starting tonight, I'm going to buy a roll of electrical tape and track down every annoying LED in my possession. I've also found tinted tape on the internet that I will buy to dim down any lighted display that I still need to read.

I will not be happy until I can get my place to be pitch black!

Date: 6-24-2014

Due Date: 6-24-2015

Resolution: A couple of weeks ago while listening to The Joe Rogan Experience, he had a guest who mentioned in passing that you can lose weight up to three times faster just by taking cold showers. They talked about it for a bit and then moved on.

It wasn't the main topic and I didn't think much of it at the time. Even with the promise of rapid weight loss, the idea of cold showers is not the top of my list of things to do.

Yesterday morning destiny kicked in and my water heater randomly stopped working. My initial thought was, "Screw it, I'm skipping my shower today," but I just finished my workout and couldn't imagine going through the day in this funk so that thought quickly shifted to, "Screw it, I'm doing this."

The chilly shower was not pleasant in any way but I hopped under the cold water and cleaned up.

I hit the reset button on the water heater in hopes that it would be up and running again when I got home from work. While at work I remembered this podcast conversation about cold water weight loss and decided to commit to this cold shower experiment whether or not the problem was resolved.

My water heater is still down so I need to call the landlord but it's no longer that high of a priority because for the next month and a half (until I complete the Richard Simmons workout challenge from Resolution #109) I will be taking nothing but cold showers to see what happens.

As always, I'll let you know how it turns out.

Date: 6-25-2014

Due Date: 6-25-2015

Resolution: I clearly remember the first time I saw the word Cryptozoologist pop up as a profession in a chyron of a documentary I was watching about Chupacabra. I was more fascinated by the fact that Cryptozoology is a career choice than I was fascinated by any of the mythic creatures that they actually study.

It's also a pretty cool word, just like Chupacabra and chyron.

I'm happy to know all three words and will use any if not all whenever I get the chance.

Today while searching for interesting courses offered through the extended education circuit of classes, I stumbled down a rabbit hole and found an online "University" that offers a $35.00 Cryptozoology Course, $60.00 if you want to be certified!

You'd have to be certifiable not to pay the extra $25.00 to be certified.

Wait???

I'll keep you posted.

Date: 6-26-2014

Due Date: 6-26-2015

Resolution: Whenever the topic of IQ tests comes up on any of the talk shows/podcasts that I listen to, it sounds like there was a time when everyone had to take an IQ test through the school system. I'm not sure if this is a regional thing that's still going on to this day or an era thing that was lost due to the underfunding of the education system. Either way, I've always been interested in what I'd score.

Back in the day when the internet first started to get popular, before there were all these social media quizzes that inform you which Game of Throne Character you are, there seemed to be a lot of, on the verge of legitimate, personality tests that we'd sneak into our workday to then brag about the results at lunch in a true social atmosphere.

One of the tests that became a source of competition was the free IQ test. Though I don't remember my score, I remember thinking the test couldn't be accurate because I scored way too high. Though I feel I'm smarter than I let on this test had me at a Mensa levels.

I wouldn't say that I'm that much smarter than I let on, but after seeing that score I've always been interested in what my official IQ is, apparently not interested enough to do anything about it, but interested nonetheless.

Well, now that I'm tackling all these back of my mind challenges I think it's time to finally lay the question of my intelligence to rest... well... test wise that is.