Dateline 10-12-2016

What a frustrating week this has been so far. It hasn't been all that bad but I just can't get out of my head making it next to impossible to focus on what I am doing enough to feel that I am making any progress in my efforts to be productive. I wouldn't say that I'm feeling all that depressed right now my mind is just somewhere else. 

I think what happened was that I started the week trying to start my latest Android app assignment. Though I am confident in my ability to create a functional program that would meet the assignment requirements I don't feel connected to the content. I have to build an app for tourist visiting my city pointing out several interesting tourist attractions, restaurants and events. As a shut-in, I don't really feel like I'm the one to suggest anything as I only venture out to visit the local Dollar Tree and neighboring Taco Shop randomly throughout the week.

Granted, I feel like I could easily slap together something generic with the help of things like Yelp or an events page on some San Diego site but it's hard for me to feel enthusiastic about a project if I don't feel a personal connection and find it impossible to focus on anything that I'm not enthusiastic about. 

My initial plan was to attempt to power through and build this generic app so I can move on to the next lesson but I kept getting nibbles of ideas that I felt I could develop into something that I would actually be proud of. These nibbles were strong enough that I knew they would eventually evolve into something I could work with. This was why I took the weekend off to let the idea brew. 

During this time off, two things happened. One, I fell off the wagon of doom and gloom and got wrapped up in the election coverage, which sent my storyteller mind into a world of fantasy allowing me to play out all my hopes and fears about what is really going on in this world. Not that I have the solution to anything, it's just the way my mind works.

Unfortunately, I don't see any hope when it comes to either of these candidates so I had to find another distraction to get me out of the world of politics. That's when I decided to revisit an old online game that I used to be obsessed with. It's a simple game where you launch colored balls at a wall of other colored balls, match three or more and the balls disappear. 

The game is simple enough in the earlier stages that it gets you addicted, then gets to be impossible but achievable like a midway carnival game. I'm not so close to completing 100% of the game that the same perfectionist part of my brain that wouldn't allow me to start my assignment until I felt a connection to it, won't let me move on from this game until it is complete. 

I know that this is a completely privileged problem and to be honest, it isn't really a problem at all, it's just a tiny speed bump that's affecting my productivity that in the long run doesn't really matter all that much either, but right now it's what going on in my life which is what I'm here to report on. 

Now it's time to get back to work beating this game so I can finally get back to my life. I'll let you know how it turns out when I check in tomorrow.

Talk to you then,

The Wicker Breaker