Dateline 10-13-2016

Well, yesterday ended up being a lost day and there wasn't even any drugs and/or alcohol involved which is the normal root of such wasted time. Other than my daily obligations I did absolutely nothing but give in to the compulsion that I was griping about in yesterday's post. I gave into depression and spent the entire day in a mindless haze as I continued to try to conquer this dumb game that I am currently obsessed with.

By no means am I accusing this dumb game of triggering my frame of mind, it's the state of the world that has me feeling down. Though I'm not proud of the fact that I wasted an entire day, and wouldn't recommend brainlessly playing such a dumb game as a cure for anything but I have to say that I ended up in a meditative state that has me feeling much better today.

The thing that I think helped was that I committed to the fact that I was going to waste the day very early on. Normally when I decide to take some time to myself I still have the day planned out. I have a TV series that I want to marathon watch or a movie I've been putting off, or have to clean or organize something. It's rare that I just see where the day takes me.

Though I did have the goal of completing this game but I was fully committed to this goal unlike my other "days off" where I end up spending half the day tinker on projects only to fit in half of the planned distraction that I was looking forward to spending the day with.

Not yesterday. Yesterday, where every moment of the day was wasted just the way I planned. It's a weird success but a success nonetheless. Unfortunately, I did, however, fail to complete the game but I did manage to get a lot closer to the end and broke the need to have to complete this stupid game before moving on with my life. Again, I don't think the game was the real problem but was the distraction I needed at the time so even though I feel guilty for wasting so much time, it's what happened and I'm fine with it. 

We'll see what happens today.

Talk to you tomorrow,

The Wicker Breaker