Dateline 10-31-2016

Ugh, once again, I've given in to the drink last night and am paying for it today. It's been a little over a week since my supply of "medicine" has run dry. I have to wait until payday before I can afford to get my card renewed and buy more. This has caused my sleep schedule to fall to shit. The night before last I didn't fall asleep until 8:00 in the AM. 

I couldn't let that cycle continue so last night I decided to put myself down early with a bottle of wine. It's been a couple weeks since my last dance with adult beverages so I once again forgot why I barely drink anymore. Since my head's been completely straight since running out of "meds" it was extra fun to be in an altered state for a while. 

I managed to get to bed around the time I normally smoke myself to sleep and woke up nine hours later feeling like shit. I jumped in the freezing pool which instantly sobered me up but now I'm stuck feeling on the verge of throwing up. Part of me wants to just let it spew because then at least that part of the day after daze will be done with.  I really can't believe this is how I lived my life on a daily basis for almost twenty years.

Luckily, I managed to muster through my work so now I can waste the rest of the day if I want to. My little sisters in town so I'll probably hang out and do nothing with her. Hopefully, my sleep schedule has reset at least until I get more "meds."

We'll see what happens.

Talk to you tomorrow,

The Wicker Breaker