Dateline 2-3-2016
/I don't know how I'm feeling today.
Yesterday I tied up a lot of the loose ends from my last section of the side project that I'm working on. I also managed to start the the next phase of said side project. I didn't get all that far because it was a little late by the time I got into the meat of the project and I was hopped up on free edibles from my payday batch of "medicine" that I purchased early in the day so I decided to take a break.
I still have a hard time justifying breaks because everything I work on, other than the couple hours I spend on my day job, is pretty much a passion project that hasn't done much as far as monetary gains which unfortunately leads me to feel that my efforts are unappreciated by the world outside of my home office.
When I think about how I feel burnt out because after putting 12 to 14 hours into my own ideas it doesn't qualify as being not worthy because there is no one above me forcing me to put this much effort into something that may or may not pay off in the long run. I can feel the 9 to 5ers rolling their eyes as I complain about waking up early for me when my schedules in my own hands.
I know that instead of feeling guilty for chasing dreams I should feel appreciative that I have to opportunity to give this dream a shot. I should also feel proud of the unseen price that I am paying to put all my efforts into my quest for freedom from the corporate world.
Hopefully this will all pay off at some point.
We'll see what happens.