Dateline 10-5-2017

I can't wait for tomorrow to get here so that I can start my weekend. Unlike your average weekend warrior, I don't look forward to Friday for the freedom from work but instead, I look forward to the freedom that allows me to work on my projects with minimal interruptions unlike the rest of the week.

This week especially has been rather trying. I feel myself slipping back into a depression thanks to the events in the news that feel inescapable. This depression has gotten to the point where it's now affecting me physically since it's ruining the quality of my sleep to where I no longer the energy to be as active as I was just last week. Since I'm no longer moving as much, my body feels like trash.

Yesterday, I felt like I was getting better and was excited to get back to working on rewriting my novel but with so many weekday distractions I could never find my groove. These distractions weren't a big deal last week when I was settled in to a schedule that really worked for me but now that I feel stuck again, every little thing has me feeling irritable making it hard to focus.

As I've said before, the weekends provide more alone time for me since the family in the house is more often than not, off doing their own thing. I think the fact that this wasn't the case last week, due to an out-of-town family visit, might be why I feel more unmotivated and annoyed. Yes, I did have fun with the guests but it now feels like it's been two weeks straight where I've had zero full days to myself to allow me to decompress.

I know to an outsider that this might sound ridiculous being that even on these weekdays, I spend over ninety percent of the day alone. Yes, I do get a lot of time to myself but for the most part, this alone time is like living with roommates that are constantly home making it impossible to do whatever you want without being noticed or judged.

I also know that this is mainly something internal that I suffer within my own mind because these people that I'm saying I need a break from aren't doing anything intentional against me, they're just living their lives and I feel like I am the one who's getting in everybody's way which is the true reason I need the break.

I'm hoping that this weekend will bring the break that I need since things will be back to normal. Having an entire day to myself will allow me to immerse myself into my novel and get back to the place where I was last week and was actually enjoying my life.

We'll see what happens and as always, I'll keep you posted on what does.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Sincerely,

The Wicker Breaker