Dateline 2-1-2017

Weight is a weird thing, especially when you get really big. Over the past three years as I transitioned from fun loving independent filmmaker to insane retail store assistant manager to down and out societal drop-out to a refocused agoraphobe climbing out of his hole, I managed to pack on a lot of pounds to apparently making it through my hibernation.

Hmm... I wrote that as a joke but maybe my cyclical weight changes are linked to some kind of emotional cycle that last about five or so years that goes back to when I was a kid. Keep in mind, I'm a six foot four person with a rather large frame. I'd say that I look average when I weigh in at 245lbs. This allows me to put up some pretty big numbers while still feeling fine.

Right now, I'm heavier than I've ever been before, as I climb out of the lowest of lows I've ever experienced. I'm back on track as far as setting goals, now I need to get back to feeling comfortable living in my own skin.

Since the start of the years, I've been on a strict diet and have been working on staying active which I think is the bigger issue when it comes to my weight. I wouldn't say that I'm an emotional eater but will eat whatever I want once or twice a day to then sit for hours at a time typing away at whatever I'm working on.

A couple weeks ago I bought a scale and it took me three days before I had the nerve to even turn it on. It's been three years since I stepped on a scale so I was nervous with what I would see, preferring to assume that my top weight from the past was the maximum weight that I could reach.

Nope.

I finally set up my scale and even after weeks of diet and exercise, I was quite a bit heavier than what I used to be. Though I was very bummed out, my clothes were fitting better so I never got to see the number that's my new peak.

The next day I dropped about seven pounds. This was after an average day at this time so if left me wondering just how big I actually got. The next day I lost another ten pounds. Which got me thinking that I'd get this weight off in no time flat. Then, while sticking to the same schedule, my weight jumped back up to where I was heavier than my first weigh it and now today all that weight is gone and then some.

So apparently my weight can fluctuate up to about 15 pounds at any given time. Oh well, at least my clothes keep fitting better and better which I've learned in the past is the true sign that you're getting in shape.

Now it's time to pacing around my bedroom to see if I can get my weight to fluctuate another 5 pound down by the end of the week. We'll see what happens and as always, I'll keep you posted when it does.

Talk to you tomorrow,

The Wicker Breaker