Dateline 4-25-2017

(Note: This update that I am about to write has nothing to do with the specific of the court case I might be assigned to, as I don't even know the details yet. I'm just discussing the jury selection process because this is what happened to me today. If/when I get selected, I don't plan to give case specific info at all because I'm more interested in the behind the scenes workings than the actual case.) 

I just got back from my first day of jury duty and oh what a day it's been. First off, I had to wake up an hour earlier than usual which wasn't that bad if it wasn't for the horrible night's sleep due to sleep anxiety.

You see, I'm at a point now where I can wake up at the same exact time every day without the need of an alarm clock. Granted, I set my own schedule so it doesn't really matter if I do screw up and accidentally oversleep. This means when I do have to set my alarm, even for a later time than my magical waking hour, I spend the night in fear that I'll screw up somehow and sleep through it which makes me wake in a panic every couple of hours.

That said, I pulled it off and got to the courtroom in time, with a quarter charged phone, and a forgotten book that I didn't grab as I was rushing to catch my ride. What made it worse was this quarter charged phone was dropping its percentage count every couple of minutes even when it was asleep in my pocket.

The lack of extra entertainment didn't end up being that big of a problem as the orientation started rather quickly which meant I wouldn't be reading or phoning anyway. It was during this orientation that I notice just how much I've changed. Where I used to sneak humor in every single thing, I just sat there and zoned out to the speaker who was giving us the information. It wasn't until about a half hour of dumb questions that I was struck by an old familiar gig fit and everything started to seem ridiculous.

Though there were a few people that had valid questions, a bulk of the people who raised their hands had very specific questions that only concerned them that they would ask in front of the entire crowd. One woman kept ranting and raving about the parking policy, and several people were freaking out as if they'd already been chosen for the month-long trial as the guy was literally explaining the boxes to select if you're unavailable for long-term placement.

Luckily, the guy in charge of the show had been doing this long enough that he knew how to make fun of these people and get the room to laugh with a touch of charm while not coming across as a bully.

Things got a little boring once the orientation was over. Sure, we got a half hour break but that only made the day take longer. While on the break, I did manage to find a stack of local free papers, but apparently it was late enough in the week that all of the good ones were gone. I did manage to find a rag with a single article on every page to create spacing for all the advertisements but it also had a Sudoku game that kept me occupied until my name was called.

I was part of the second group called, and based on prior experience with jury selection, I was expecting to be rejected and back on the road by one. Nope... Not this time. Where last time I was rejected right away because I was a temp at the time and trial without pay would have led to a hardship so I was in and out by the end of the day.

This time, I have absolutely no excuses and actually would like to be involved. I just wish they would hurry the fuck up when it comes to the selection process so we can move on to the big show because the selection process is fucking boring.

That said, it's still more fun that sitting in the "Jury Lounge," just waiting to hear your name. The selection process is boring, entertaining, understandable and insane as you're in a room packed full of different agendas.

First, there are the people who want out. These are the people that were too dumb to just fill in the bubble saying that they are not available for the exact same reason they are now telling the judge and are now frustrated and confused by his doubtful questioning.  

The next group is made up of the first group plus a few more. These people raise their hands after every question to subtly drop hints that they are not ideal choices. For example, the judge would ask something like if anyone had any close relationships with people in the legal field.

Right away, several of the space cadets would raise their hands and start sharing distant relationships to random people in hopes that it would queer the deal. You could tell that the judge saw through all of this but he did make them work harder admitting to more weird connections before they were finally dismissed.

Then there were the group of people that deserved to be dismissed but they kept making it through to the next round. One old lady said she had been on a bunch of juries but couldn't remember a case, to which the judges said something to the effect of was it a burglary or civil case to which she answers, "No, it was more like a murder."

More like a murder? What the fuck does that mean? He went on to question what a bunch means to which the answer was two. It was at this time that I caught another juror laughing at my confused yet entertained facial expressions which almost got us both to lose our shit laughing, which I'm sure would have been audible if it was the me from the past, but instead, it was just a funny moment.

I don't know whether or not this is common but the selection process took so long that it wasn't finished in one day. That means I have to go back tomorrow. I'm already in the jury box and not part of the over flow group so I'm guessing this will be my life for the next week.

Starting tomorrow the selection process should end and the trial should actually begin. Once that happens, I probably won't report on anything jury related whether or not it has anything to do with the specific of the case because I'm not fully sure whether or not I've already shared too much.

Luckily we were let out too late to get our jury handbook so I have an out in the case that I did over-share, I just figured I was safe because I was talking about the selection process without saying a thing about the case. 

I will, however, let you know whether or not I get on the case and with that I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Wish me luck, 

The Wicker Breaker