Dateline 5-9-2017

I'm now on day five of fighting with my internet. This really sucks because I started the day excited to share my latest sense of optimism. For one, Ellen Burstyn liked my post with the review of her appearance on SNL. Though I have no idea if she actually read said review, it’s nice to see evidence that there’s at least some growing awareness of this project.

I was also pretty excited to share how proud I was that out of the past four days of this internet outage, I managed to control my temper minus a handful of curse-filled outbursts which is hard for me to control when it comes to technical failures that are out of my control and almost seems to be taunting me with bursts of functionality.

Though I wouldn’t say that I’m a violent type, I do have a tendency to rant, rave, and throw things when I’m alone and have reached the end of my patience. I was so proud to make it through these four days without such an outburst especially for how long this has been going on and how many failed attempts went into trying to fix it.

This morning, I wasn’t as successful at keeping my rage at bay. As I said, I woke up excited, once again thinking the problem was over since the internet seemed to be up and running just fine when I lied down to go to bed. This added to the optimism that I was excited to share, so when I sat down to start my post only to find a failed connection it sent me on a mini tirade where I stormed around the room and smashed a few things but thankfully, I’ve learned to take it out on things I find in the garbage, but I still ended up getting cut by the broken glass which is something that I am really not proud of.

Now that I’m done and feel dumb there’s also a calm inside. The thing that made today worse than the other is that the internet seems to be working fine on all my other devices, my phone and kindle both show they connect and their reaction time is what I expect. My Kindle TV is also streaming YouTube just fine but it seems to be broadcasting in a lower quality. So it feels like it’s only my desktop that is still fully effected.

This led me to run all my scans to fix all the issues that each takes at least an hour. By the time I got done the internet was running at an acceptable speed so once again, I thought the problem was solved until I went to submit my post when once again the internet stopped working on everything.

That’s what caused me to snap because it feels like the world is actually working against me by gas lighting this already fragile mind. Luckily, I’m in a much better place that this time last year because even with this outburst, I’m taking it much better than I would have in the very near past.

Hopefully, this will all get worked out soon, notice that I didn’t say that it will work itself out soon because there are other efforts being made through our ISP, this is just what I have to put up with until they finally get out here. I mention this because I can see this being the first letter to no one to actually get a response with advice like, did you try to reset the modem.

Alright, now that I’m done with the writing of this post, it’s time to see how long it will take for the internet to accept it since it took about forty-five minutes just yesterday. If you’re reading this, then I apparently pulled it off and will be back to check in tomorrow.

Talk to you then,

The Wicker Breaker