Dateline 7-26-2017

Sometimes I really hate the way that my brain works. If you follow my progress at all then might have notice I start to get down for no apparent reason at least once every couple months. Though these feelings of depression don't feel ever-present like they did from one year prior to my decision to leave Seattle up until the beginning of this year, it's still super rough because these feeling can randomly come out of nowhere to last anywhere from a couple hours up to two weeks at the most.

I have some theories on this latest bout but it's most likely that it's stemmed from a combination of everything that I am about to mention. First off, I was super productive with my SNL review pre-work right up until the day I started to feel down but I had to take a break due to a side job.

This break due to work wasn't all that bad but my SNL prep-work remained on pause because I had to wait for my paycheck to come through to resubscribe to the streaming service that I use to get my blogging materials. This made me feel a pretty down not only because it took me out of a pattern of productivity that I was very proud of but it also really bummed me out that I had to wait one week just to cover the four dollar fee.

For the most part, I am fine with my minimalist life that allows me to focus on my own thing but from time to time I feel so pathetically broke that I fear things will never get better. Then you add this week's humid heat and you've got another piece to my puzzle of misery.

The thing that sucks more than the heat alone is how when I look out my door it looks deceptively cool because of the overcast skies. Where in Seattle a cloudy sky means a cool day no matter what, here in San Diego if the sky is gray and it's summer time you get humidity along with the oppressive heat making it a miserable mission just to go to the store, making me even more of a shut in and adding to my lonely thoughts.

Finally, I've been dealing with sleep issues partially per-usual but also partially due to all the issues mentioned above. Even when I do manage to get a full night's sleep, I barely ever feel refreshed during the summer months but minus the depression, I tend to get over the restlessness pretty quick to the point where most of the time I feel a bit of a benefit from the slap happy thoughts that can come along with sleep deprivation.

Today, I was able to pay my bills so that may relieve my feelings of wasting my days as I get back to the task of completing my SNL Review pre-work, for when that is all done, I can finally move on to using my free time on something more productive, instead of just waiting for the resources I need to finish the task that is holding me up from feeling the freedom to actually do what I need without anything on the back-burner preoccupying my mind as a person who can't stand leaving a task unfinished.

Hopefully, this will get me back on my game and of course, I'll check in tomorrow to keep you posted on my progress. 

Talk to you then, 

The Wicker Breaker