Dateline 7-25-2017

Yesterday ended up being a weird one. First off, I woke up super early haunted by memories from a time in my life when I was genuinely hopeful and I actually did have fun. This sent my mind down some dark paths as I retraced the steps that got me to where I am, solidifying the reality that there is no going back and all that I have to look forward to is a late life filled with boredom.

I think I went to this dark place because I decided to start my day before I was fully awake which tends to lead to more sorrow when it comes to my posts because I don't like having to leave the magical world of slumber where I get to escape the monotony of the woken world. 

For the most part, this transition into waking only lasts a little while and then I put on my mask of positivity as I try the fake it until you make it, approach to happiness. After I finished my Daily Breaker post, I went straight on to review my episode of SNL for the day making it so that I was done with all of my daily obligations by about 8:45 in the AM.

With a whole day ahead of me, nothing to do, and memories of my fun days as a party dude, I thought I would take another break from sobriety and fit in some day drinking to pass the time. As I point out about twice a month, though the idea of drinking does sound fun, and often is, but the harsh recovery that I now experience makes it hard for me to justify that it's worth it.

So, as always, I had a bit of fun for the first part of the day, then woke in the evening feeling like complete garbage with zero memories of what I found to be so entertaining even though I knew there was a lot of drunken laughter until I crashed around noon.

It's now close to twenty-four hours since I've had my last drink and I still don't feel fully recovered but I do feel that I've gotten the desire to drink out of my system at least for another week or two.

With that, it's time to get on with my day. As always, I'll check in tomorrow with another update.

Talk to you then,

The Wicker Breaker