Dateline 8-1-2017

Well, today is going to be an interesting day. I have about twenty family members coming over to my house because my cousin, who was like an older brother to me when I was young, and now haven't talked to in close to a decade, is in town with his family on their vacation from Texas where they live.

I hate these types of reunions, especially now that I'm living in San Diego and not just on a visit myself. For one there is the issue that I was talking about yesterday where I will have to answer the dreaded "What have you been up to," question that I dread, being that I don't really know how to answer it and it feels more like a cashier asking you "How's your day been," as a pleasantry without really wanting to know than anyone genuinely wanting to get caught up.

The other tough part is that I am not the social person that I used to be. When I used to come down to visit I wanted nothing more than to see as many people as I could, and everyone was excited to see me and hear my tales of the Pacific North West. Now, I am just that broken uncle that blends into a background of noise and people who will go back to being strangers as soon as the night is done.

I've always been an "alone in a crowd" type of person but it seems to be getting worse and worse with age to where now I also feel this way with people who used to be very close to me which leads me to dread any form of event and get treated like an asshole whenever I express my social fears, so all I can do is force a smile and wait for the day to be done.

So that's the fun I have ahead of me. Hopefully, it's all just in my head and it will end up being more fun than I'm building it to be, which I'm sure it will, but either way, this is going to be a very draining day that I just woke up to and already can't wait for it to be over.

Oh well, that's what's happening. 

Talk to you tomorrow,

The Wicker Breaker