Dateline 9-29-2017
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Last night I witnessed another example of how much that I've changed since moving away from Seattle and how I've lost whatever social skill that I may have one had. My mom's cousin, who was like an aunt to me growing up is in town for some sort of work conference so she and a couple of her work friends dropped in for a visit and I crawled into my shell.
This second cousin once removed, or whatever you call this family connection, is a high-energy woman who loves to tell a story just like the rest of my family and how I used to be as well. One of her friends had the same energy level as well as the eagerness to tell a tale.
I've given up on trying to compete with my other family members when it comes to story time. I figure a big part of this new found silence stems from familiarity and the fact that I'm not the same fun loving person always out for a laugh and just feel uncomfortable sharing my serious side since my family duty used to be to get laughs. This is pretty much the same evolution into "Not So Fun Me," that led to the bridge burning amongst my friends.
That said, I did feel myself getting caught up in the energy of the room but when I tried to join in I quickly found that even with these new people I just no longer have it in me to fight for my time to speak. I made one attempt to chime in but my effort to add to the topic at hand went completely ignored.
Normally in the past, this wouldn't have phased me at all and I would have just powered through with my point. This time, I didn't even finish the sentence before I gave up, noticing no one was listening or cared.
Unfortunately, this seems to be my new role in life, my biggest concern is that it's actually how things have always been and that I was just ignoring the sign. This is why I've resorted to writing these letters to no one.
Oh well, it is what it is and now it's time to get to work, my rewrite efforts are still going great, in other news. Talk to you tomorrow when I check in for another update.
Sincerely,
The Wicker Breaker
