Dateline 9-4-2017

Alright, the weather has finally started to cool off... well, at least for the day... well, at least so far for the day. Either way, whether or not this cooling climate trend continues as winter approaches or if the SoCal summer stubbornness sets in, to where it's twice as hot tomorrow, this little break from being soaked in sweat is doing wonders for my overheated mind allowing me to think more clearly.

Being that I've been doing these Daily Breaker posts for over three years now, it's hard for me to remember what I talked about on any given day but I do know that I hit on common themes when I feel less inspired to write so this post is going to be an attempt to clear up a couple of my ongoing thoughts that I that I may have explored in the last week or two. 

One of my go-to topics is the fact that I don't feel that my efforts to create my own path in this life are appreciated and I feel that it would take a paycheck for my life to become validated. Though I do feel this way, I want to be clear that this is internal negative thinking because literally, no one is paying attention to my life giving me the freedom to do whatever I want which I might be interpreting as the world giving up on me and my hobbies as a lost cause.

Next, I want to clear up that my idea of making it in the world while living on my own terms does not mean that I desire to be a superstar. Even when I was a kid and my biggest dream in the world was to be a stand-up comedian, I never wanted to be the headlining act. Instead, my fantasy was to be a strong middle who could support himself while traveling the world with a rotating cast of headliners to do all the non-stage work like planning the transportation and booking the gigs because I'm not a responsible person.

Then when I shifted gears and actually started to explore the world of screenwriting, I never thought in my lifetime that I would ever write a blockbuster hit. Instead, I was always more interested in the idea of having one somewhat successful script that would earn me enough money to buy a house in the middle of nowhere that would be cheap enough for me to writing until my fingers fall off providing content for a small following that would be just big enough to support my minimalist life style.

Now that my new dream is to convert all of my old screenplays into a series of novels, my fantasy is pretty much the same as my screenwriting dream where I could care less if I ever make any best-selling lists but I would like enough interest to where I can make enough to live while fully focusing on my craft without the external pressures that only exist in my internal thoughts.

Finally, with this blog, though it would be nice, I've never seen this as a money making opportunity being that this is more of a means to practice how I use my words to then make public as added pressure to put out the best product that I can even if I have yet to obtain the abilities and/or resources to make it perfect.

Even when I am feeling down on myself, putting out "woe is me" content I feel like I try to make it clear that any doubts stem from thoughts going on in my own head, and though other may actually think that I am just wasting my time, literally no one has ever confronted me with the view that I'm making a mistake, I just assume that people think this way because of how traditional it is to pooh-pooh the life of a starving artist, especially as they hit an older age.

Unfortunately, the people that do actually pooh-pooh the process are either jealous that they had to give up on their dreams in order to build their safety net, or never had a dream just outside of the grasp of what's achievable that makes any sense of progress feel better than any drug you can find. Which is why those who have truly been bitten by the dream chasing bug are willing to ride it out to the very end even as their world starts to fall apart.

Sometimes I just need to remind myself that I never wanted a traditional life and need to stop beating myself up when comparing myself to those who dream of a white picket fence that I've always seen as a prison.

Oh well, now that I've gotten that out of my system, it's now time to get to work. I am sooooo close to finishing Phase IV of my SNL Prep-Work Plan that I'm getting super excited about my next project that I'll be able to start with all of the extra time that completion will bring.

That said, I still have three or four days left to this phase so I will check in with my progress when I say high tomorrow and with that, I bid you adieu.

Sincerely,

The Wicker Breaker