The Daily Breaker: Dateline 1-2-2021
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Good Evening Crickets…
During my time off from writing… I found it easier to actually battle some demons because I wasn’t also figuring out how to turn my healing/personal insights into content… whether it be fiction or for this blog… not having to put the potential solution to a language allowed me to experiment with new coping technics without the added pressure of having a tale to complete on top of just trying to feel better…
Intentionally avoiding creating stories led me to realize just how much of my life is made up of an amalgamation of facts and fiction from trying to force my life into a story structure that makes sense to me… with most of my understanding of other’s actions coming from what I know of psychology… cinematic psychology… psychology that makes us all feel like geniuses because it’s been so dumbed down… psychology that might be more accurate for my generation since we were the first to be raised by TV as our parents…
Right before my break… I realized that the twenty-five-plus years that I spent dreaming of being a writer… I was using the craft as my therapy… while thinking it was just therapeutic… this might be why it’s always been so hard for me to commit to a final draft… or even move on to a second version… I used to blame my technical skills as a writer… since my dyslexia can make my wording sound weird… even though it works in my head… but actually… I wasn’t confident in my abilities as a therapist to not look like an imposter when testing a thought experiment through art…
Hopefully… now that I’m aware that I do this… and I’ve managed to metaphorically kill off my old self… I’ll be able to use the newfound distance to stay true to the emotions… that inspired me to attempt to turn real life into a scene… without having to be as true to the actions of the real moment… I am trying to write fiction after all…
Oh well… I guess we’ll just have to wait to see what happens… until then… it’s getting late… and I’m about to pass out as I type… so… I will talk to you tomorrow…
Sincerely…
The Wicker Breaker
