Dateline 5-11-2016
/It's only day three and I think I'm already seeing enough of a benefit from my attempts to set aside time to exercise each day that I might find it important enough to keep up for at least a while. I've been feeling really run down over the past month, even more so than usual.
It's weird because I've been falling asleep easier than ever but I've only been getting four to six hours a night. I've been waking up feeling so exhausted but unable to fall back to sleep. I think I've put on enough weight that my sleep apnea is kicking in strongly once again.
I was starting to get winded even more easily than ever, but as I said yesterday, I've been too depressed and tired to make any changes. That said, it also felt like my blood pressure was going up which led me to feel like I was having anxiety attacks even when I was relaxed.
I'm not blind to the fact that I'm living a destructive life style. For the past year and a half I've been fighting to find a reason to care and have been bouncing back and forth between putting efforts into what will get me to the point of caring again or doing the bare minimum to get by, all the while continuing to gamble on my dreams.
It's been pretty weird.
Last night I got the first solid night's sleep, clocking in at a little over eight and a half hours. Even though this is only day three of my fitness plan I feel that the physical activity is to credit for my slumber.
I know it's only been a couple days but I can feel that my shirts are getting looser and my breathing is getting better. I also feel at the end of the day I feel physically tired instead of just mentally fatigued, so when I woke up this morning I was sort of surprised to find that I felt well rested and I was ready to rise rather than just giving up on my attempts to fall back to sleep.
Hopefully I can stick to this plan because I do feel my physical well being is affecting my mood.
We'll see what happens.
Talk to you tomorrow,
- The Wicker Breaker