Dateline 5-26-2016

I'm not fully sure what I had this week but I'm finally feeling better. It all started Monday as a usual recovery day from a weekend of drinking. I felt run down and unable to focus but in a way that has been common ever since I slowed my drinking to about once a month. Though I was expecting this feeling, I didn't expect it to last all day.

When I woke on Tuesday, I barely had the energy to get out of bed. This wasn't a depression bed ridden feeling but more of a physical exhaustion. I thought I just needed breakfast to boost my level but even my morning meal didn't seem to help. 

I wouldn't say that I felt sick but I definitely didn't feel right. I followed up my day job with a nap in hopes that I just needed sleep. Normally when I lay down in the afternoon it's more of a meditative way to split the day between what I have to do and what I want to do. I rarely sleep but just sit in silence with my eyes closed until I'm ready to face the second half of the day. 

Tuesday's transition turned into a down right sleep and after about three hours I woke still feeling like crap. I wish these were symptoms like a cold or a fever where I at least knew what to expect. I just continued to feel physically drained which for some reason was triggering my anxiety which led me down a weird train of thought.

I made it through the day thinking it must be the effects of alcohol that my out of practice body is getting worse at dealing with the less I drink. I thought for sure I'd wake on Wednesday feeling ready to face the day but I didn't.

Wednesday morning was just as bad as Tuesday only I opted to not get up on my first attempt. Again, I actually rolled over and went back to sleep instead of fidgeting with my phone which is my usual procrastination technique. 

After waking the second time I did feel better but I also still didn't feel fine. I fought through the day as hypochondriatic thoughts plagued my mind as the anxiety only added to the paranoia. 

I thought for sure this was my new normal which would be no way to live. 

Again I made it through the day, hiding my concerns and easily fell into a slumber when the time came.

I woke this morning feeling fine and by fine I mean the normal crappy feeling I feel as I attempt to get back into shape, only I've taken the past few days off from any activity so it feels like any progress from last week has been lost. 

Now I'm feeling good enough to get back on my game. I'm starting a cleanse today to see if that helps at all. I'm not a true believer in the "detox" values of drinking lemon water and syrup, but it is a way to take a break from my shitty diet which has made me feel better in the past. 

Hopefully, this will help and as always, I'll keep you posted on my progress.

Talk to you tomorrow,

- The Wicker Breaker