Dateline 6-16-2016

I find it weird that the day that I started writing was the day that my sleep issues returned which is also leading to a more worrisome frame of mind. Where, while taking a break, I was going to sleep by midnight and feeling a sense of normalcy setting in. Now that I'm back at it, the insomnia has returned and with it comes the thoughts that can only be developed in a sleep deprived mind.

I have mixed feelings about this because though I'm fine with having a clear head, I miss the chaos of my creative mind. As depressed as I was at the peak of my delusions, there was a bigger sense of hope that something would connect allowing me to live my dreams. Now, at best, I find myself fantasizing about a day where I can just get by without having to work over time or wake up before nine.

Minus the me that I left behind in Seattle, I don't think I'll get to that level insanity and hope ever again. It does feel nice to dip my toe in the water of over-ambitious enthusiasm as I play through the potential payoff of a passion project.

I do doubt that anything will come from any of my efforts but it feels better than acknowledging the mundane. For those that find this to be negative, this is a part of chasing a dream when you have yet to succeed. Aside from the writing, I'm really enjoying my App building classes and can't wait to have something to share. Oh of my shitty ideas has to eventually stick to the wall because this dog was promised his day and if it's come and gone already, I managed to miss it and feel I deserve another.

Oh well, that's what I've got for today. 

Talk to you tomorrow,

- The Wicker Breaker