Dateline 4-11-2017

Where last week I started out very optimistic only to have my enthusiasm slowly drain and the week went on, yesterday, I wrote the most pessimistic post that I've written here in a while which I'm hoping was enough to get at least some of the negativity out of my system.

I think the main problem is that I switched to a cheap brand of medical vaporizer cartridges and their effects aren't a strong as my last batch. Though I can still get myself high enough to sleep, I think the effects wear out to quick so I don't get into as deep of a slumber.

Since sleep regulation is the most important part in keeping my mood under control, these restless nights have been ruining my day. Then, I got the news of an old close friend dying, the closest peer/friend to die in my life to date, my guard was down from the lack of sleep, so I ended up in even darker mood than usual.

Though yesterday started out rough, I'm already feeling like getting back into the game. First, I'm starting to focus on my fitness again and return to obsessing over steps. Due to the negative vibe last week, I took a couple days off for the first time since getting my fit bit. The added activity doesn't seem to do anything to aid the quality of sleep but it does seem to increase the duration which has to be helping a little.

I also think that my mind is at ease after figuring out the root of the problem. Due to the way I transitioned from one batch of meds to the next, it wasn't all that obvious at first that my lower quality medication was the culprit. Since I would switch back and forth to finish off the old while testing the new the first week or two went unnoticed.

It wasn't until I tried to wake and bake over the weekend that I realized I had to re-up to feel anything even after less than an hour from smoking. So, just having a potential solution is enough to ease my mind even though I have to wait until payday to go back to the old brand that successfully kept me sleeping soundly throughout the night.

Good thing payday is Friday, which is another thing that's got me amped!!!

So that's what I'm up to right now, I'll keep you posted as the days advance.

Talk to you soon,

The Wicker Breaker