Good Evening Crickets…

Here we are at the end of another day… and I’m growing more and more annoyed with how my therapy session went earlier today… which sucks because I’ve been very open to treatment ever since working with my coach from the Sanvello app that I’ve been using for my mental health… where I get to share my thoughts through my writing… since I’m terrible at verbalizing anything that’s not benign or a joke…

Which is the first thing that annoys me… during these days of Covid… I don’t see why they can set therapy appointments to be handled via text… and not just through Zoom or over the telephone… my therapist even said that I communicate much more clearly and precisely with my written effort to express myself over how I communicate verbally over the telephone…

I’m also annoyed by the fact that I can’t seem to get a diagnosis to save my life… and when I try to be assertive and push for one… the therapist just seemed to get annoyed while explaining how labels aren’t important… and how I should do my own research into what might be wrong with me… since I didn’t go to school long enough to understand a list of symptoms to even suggest that I might know what wrong… or even suggest where we might start… she even went as far as to say that these lists were just bullshit that was just made up by a bunch of white people in a room…

She then went on to explain how I should talk to the pill doctor when I talk to her at my appointment tomorrow… warning me what they don’t like… which is partially because… I used to think that psychiatrists were psychologists who went to school to learn the medical requirements needed to prescribe pills… so I think she was trying to help me out… but it felt like she was trying to warn me not to bruise the doctor’s ego but sharing any of my thoughts that I may have about psychology that I may have picked up while walking many miles in many different people’s shoes… with different personalities while developing my fictional characters…

I didn’t even get this information from the doctor that I’m meeting tomorrow… and I already feel like I have to put on another disguise to make sure I don’t offend the expert… apparently… I’m only supposed to talk about the symptoms… while not sharing any insights on what might be going on… I’ll wait to see what happens tomorrow… but I already discouraged about whether or not this attempt to get help will work out…

Oh well… I’m sure I’ll let you know if anything interesting goes down… but… until then… it’s time for me to self-medicate with my Arizer Extreme Q with remote control… and then head over to the couch to watch TV with my dog… before heading off to bed to complete my evening ritual that then triggers my reset… I look forward to talking to you tomorrow… with more of the same only a little different…

Sincerely…

The Wicker Breaker