Date: 3-19-2014

Due Date: 3-19-2015

Resolution: I have mixed feelings about magicians. I'm often amazed by the tricks that they are able to pull off but I find that most of them are very annoying. They rank up there with that guy at the party who claims to be a collector of jokes. These people are all about filling any silence with mediocrity. They don't care whether or not you are interested, they just plow forward unaware that you have zoned out and are just going through the motions of supporting their hobby.

I will not become that guy. I just want to learn one trick and become an expert at it to potentially incorporate it into my busking resolution.

Date: 3-20-2014

Due Date: 3-20-2015

Resolution: My new job requires that I wear a necktie. I figure since this will be a standard issued tie I'll need some way to switch things up.

So, here we are.

Date: 3-21-2014

Due Date: 3-21-2015

Resolution: Over the years I've gotten pretty good at drinking wine but can't even fake my way through a conversation about how it actually tastes. In the past… I thought the idea of taking a class where you get to drink was novel and intriguing but never took the idea seriously enough to follow through and sign up. Since this is the year for trying new things, I'm going to add Wine Tasting Lessons to the list.

Date: 3-22-2014

Due Date: 3-22-2015

Resolution: I wouldn't say that I'm a horrible cook, but I could definitely get better. I plan on making several resolutions over the next couple of months geared toward improving my culinary skills. I figured why not start from the beginning and learn how to properly cut my food.

Date: 3-23-2014

Due date: 3-23-2015

Resolution: So far my media based resolutions have been made in order for me to appreciate movies, shows, and music from the past. What about what's happening now? A new version of Carl Sagan's television show Cosmos just started airing on Fox and I really enjoyed the first couple of episodes.

Since I spend the majority of my free time working on this blog, I'm going to resolve to stay caught up on this show as new episodes are released. I figure making it a resolution will not only justify watching the show over working on another project but also work as a reminder to check for new episodes.

In recent years, since switching to an on-demand viewing style I often forget about television shows that I like because I no longer have to plan to watch anything at a set time, or set up a VCR to record said anything at said set time. Many programs that I really enjoyed having just disappeared to the safety of, "Oh I'll get to watching it when I have time."

To make sure this doesn't happen with Cosmos I am going to set that time. Well, not exactly but within a week of each episode's original airing.

Date: 3-24-2014

Due Date: 3-24-2015

Resolution: I'm old enough that the Rubik's Cube has come in and out of popularity several times in my life. I'm not sure if I've ever properly solved this puzzle. I do know that I used to take my mom's Rubik's Cube apart and put it back together in the right order, but I don't think that counts.

In researching ideas for resolutions I've found more than one website devoted to suggesting items to add to your bucket list include the completion of this novelty as a must. Being that I am unsure as to whether or not I can legitimately check this off my list, this year I will make it official.

Date: 3-25-2014

Due Date: 3-25-2015

Resolution: I wouldn't necessarily say that I was a car person but I've always ended up with some pretty interesting vehicles. I think it started when I was a kid and I fell in love with my mom's 1954 Mercury Comet. If it wasn't given to her, she bought it real cheap because she needed something to drive and had no other choice.

At 6'4" I was blown away by how roomy this vehicle was. I couldn’t care less about how many liters or cylinders the engine had. I could fit comfortably in this thing even with the bench seat all the way forward so that my mom could drive.

Ever since then, the majority of my cars have been either my age or older. I love the way old cars look. I'm not sure how much their rarity for the time factors into it, but old cars have personality and my old cars had downright charm.

That said, even the newer cars I owned had personalities as well. Thought these characteristics stemmed from a strange combination of loving neglect. Since I'm not a car person… I ended up letting a lot of maintenance issues slide. Any flaw becomes an adorable quirk to me. These quirks included a spider-webbed windshield on my Jeep Wrangler and a lake and waterfall in my Buick Park Ave.

I've loved each and every one of these freaks and they deserve a shrine.

Here's what I'll be looking for.

1954 Mercury Comet (even though this car was never mine… it’s the one that started it all)

1989 Nissan Truck (with AstroTurf interior not too exciting but it was my first vehicle. It was given to me by my grandparents. I totaled it in a car accident that wasn’t my fault and eventually bought the same exact truck to replace it.)

1994 Jeep Wrangler (This was one of those young dumb purchases that came with my first job and misunderstanding what it means to be stuck with a car loan. After I moved to Seattle it stopped being able to drive up hills. I drove it for about a year with a spider-webbed windshield. I fought with the bank for months to finally repossess it after leaving it in Seattle when I moved to Delaware.)

1962 Ford Galaxie (I bought it to drive from Seattle to Delaware. I drove it around Seattle for about a month and then hit the road. It was an interesting drive. As long as I stayed on the freeway it seemed to run fine. Whenever I had to stop for gas I feared it would explode. It made it but didn’t last all that long once I got there. I ended up abandoning it when no one knew how to fix a generator anymore.)

1969 Lincoln Continental (This was the same type of car that was in the Matrix. It had suicide doors and everything. I bought it from a dead person and then ended up driving it to death. I drove it for a couple of years until it blew a seal or something that caused it to pour smoke all over the place whenever I started it. I sold it for next to nothing after trying to give it away.)

1998 Buick Park Ave (This was the most expensive car I ever owned. It wasn't old, but in my eyes, it was a modern version of an old car. I drove this thing to the ground. Right away I did something weird and messed up the sunroof leading it to leak. That didn't affect the driveability so I just let it go, even though I live in Seattle where it rains year-round. There was a lake in the back and when I step on the brakes a stream of water would shoot down from the sunroof. The driver’s seat was stuck back so you had to drive with a gangsta lean. After not driving the thing for a little over two years, I brought it back to life with the bare minimum of a tune-up and oil change. It never drove the same after that. That didn’t stop me. I continued to drive it for about four years until it gave out.)

1976 GMC Sierra (This is my latest vehicle and I love it like all the others. It has its quirks but that's what makes it special. You can see the brush strokes from where my friend’s grandfather painted in by hand back in the day. None of the gauges work and you HAVE to use the parking brake or else it rolls downhill into other cars (I learned that the hard way.) It starred in the TV show Stolen Voices, Buried Secrets, and the movie Scrapper. I don't look forward to the day where it's no longer in my life.)

I wish I was a picture person who had photos to share, but you’ll have to wait for the replicas to see these characters in my life. I can’t wait to share.

Date: 3-26-2014

Due Date: 3-26-2015

Resolution: Yesterday when I wrote that I was 6'4" as I explained my love of roomy old cars, I had to look up 6'4" to make sure I was using the ' and the " in the right places. The top result was a link to a website listing celebrities who are also this tall.

I checked out the first couple of pages to find a few surprises. As someone who is above average when it comes to height, I've always been interested in celebrities who are as tall as me. Especially when you hear how tiny the rest of Hollywood actually is.

Within the next year… I will go through this list of 6'4" tall celebs and sort them into one of these four categories: I Knew This, Surprised, Not Surprised, and Who?

I thought this was going to be an easy one but then I noticed that there are 8,400 people on this list. I'll get started soon but I'm going to hold off until the list is complete to share my findings.

Date: 3-27-2014

Due Date: 3-27-2015

Resolution: You know what drives me even crazier than reboots and remakes of old and new movies? People who complain that Hollywood isn't coming up with anything original any more… only to then rush out to see any recycled piece of garbage that is put up on the screen.

It's time to start putting the adage, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," to the test and start breaking some of these patterns that we constantly bitch about as we participate in the act that we're complaining about.

I think the last reboot I watched was 21 Jump Street, and I only watched it because I heard it was funny and actually had nothing to do with the original show. Now that I think about it, this may actually be more damaging. At least with most genuine remakes and reboots, they try to somewhat resemble the originals.

Being that I don't watch many new movies in general this boycott is going to be pretty easy for me, but if you read this and agree with the declined state of modern cinema then join in and stop watching unoriginal material.

PS, Godzilla doesn't count. New Godzillas doing the same thing is kind of a staple to the Godzilla genre.

Date: 3-28-2014

Due date: 3-28-2015

Resolution: Today was my first payday!!! For the past month and a half, I've eaten nothing but bucket food and food I've gotten from the food bank. This hasn't been the least healthy dietary period of my life, but I've definitely been lacking fresh produce.

Now that I have a couple of bucks to spend on groceries I'm going to make up on some lost time and have a salad as at least one of my meals for the day until May.

I can't guarantee these will be the healthiest salads (i.e. a Taco Salad, or a ridiculous Cobb Salad may slip into the menu) but I do guarantee these will be green-based (i.e. not including Potato Salad or Seafood Salad as qualifiers.)

I'm going to try to eat healthier throughout the year, I just figured I'd kick it off with, "One salad a day until May."

I'll share anything fancy that I come up with.

Date: 3-29-2014

Due Date: 3-29-2015

Resolution: This Christmas my mom bought me a breakfast sandwich maker.

Later a friend posted a photo on Facebook as she announced that she also got a breakfast sandwich maker for Christmas. It wasn't until I saw this photo that I realized this sandwich machine looks an awful lot like the robot from the movie The Black Hole.

I then vowed to decorate my breakfast sandwich maker to look just like him. I was half-joking at the time, but now I'm beginning to like the idea of decorating all my appliances to look like robots.

In doing so, not only will I make it feel like I'm living on the set of Pee Wee's Playhouse, but it will add a surreal aspect to my life as I pace around my apartment muttering to myself only to turn to my googly-eyed refrigerator to support my arguments for or against time travel, depending on how I feel at any given moment.

Date: 3-30-2014

Due Date: 3-30-2015

Resolution: I've been writing for close to two decades now. I feel, content-wise, my writing has improved immensely over the years. The problem is, business-wise, I'm still at square one, and now that I'm branching away from screenwriting I feel twice as lost.

Hopefully, by this time next year, I will have found the right person to give me the guidance I need to make a living as a writer. Now I just need to figure out how to find this mentor.

Date: 3-31-2014

Due date: 3-31-2015

Resolution: If you don't know me, that's actually my truck in the picture above. It starred in the movie Scrapper that I worked on a couple of summers ago. I love this truck… but it's an old gas guzzler that is probably responsible for at least one of the petitions that I've signed lately.

Now that I live so close to my job the only reason I ever need to drive is to get to my friend’s house. Luckily because of this job, I barely have time to see them anymore.

Over the past several months I've barely driven and it’s been pretty nice, no gas to by, no fear of new noises, no worrying about being pulled over whether or not guilty of anything. I'm kind of interested in seeing what life would be like without having a vehicle at all.

Oh yeah, also my tabs and license are both just expired and I owe money on a ticket before I can renew either. So this resolution is partially an attempt to be environmentally conscious and partially an attempt to be conscious of the law.

If my subtle link above wasn't enough, click here to see my truck do some serious acting!!!

Date: 4-1-2014

Due Date: 4-1-2015

Resolution: Being that today is the day of fools I figured I'd run with the theme and resolve to test one of my more foolish curiosities. I don't believe in fortune-tellers but I've always wanted to experience firsthand the BS what goes on inside these buildings with the red neon light palms.

I have a fascination with frustration and there's nothing more frustrating than being sold a line of nonsense. I love observing the techniques of trickery. Even though I get annoyed by the shyster's persistence in their pitch even after I've decided that I'm done play the game, it's still a fun game to play. (This also describes my relationship with FOX News.)

Sometime within the year… I will visit a Seattle psychic to see the future that they have in store for me.

Date: 4-2-2014

Due Date: 4-2-2015

Resolution: While stocking shelves at work, I keep running across this product that claims to be the vitamin you wear. In my head, this seems to be nothing more than a repackaging of those magnetic horseshoe bracelets with the little balls on the ends.

I'm sure if I were to talk to the creator of this product they would try to prove the validity of this claim by using the same carney tricks all of the other supplement pitchmen use. You know the one where they have you hold your arm out without the product and they are easily able to push it down. Then they have you hold their product and no matter how hard they seem to struggle, they can't get your arm to budge. Claiming it’s the product and not the trickery that causing this.

All this said I'm going into this experiment as a skeptic but I'm always up to test a BS claim. I will wear one of these magic bracelets for a month and share my findings.

Date: 4-3-2014

Due date: 4-3-2015

Resolution: A few years ago I bought a set of these foot detox pads as my gift for a white elephant gift exchange. Deep down inside I really wanted to keep them for myself. The gift was given and the phenomena of out of sight out of mind kicked in. I lost interest almost moments after wrapping it with a brown sack and duct tape.

In keeping with the April Fools theme, I will add this to my list of BS that I want to test. Again I have no expectations with any of these services or products, I just like to experiment. I'll keep you posted on my findings.

Date: 4-4-2014

Due date: 4-4-2015

Resolution: I saw a commercial for this magical cookie diet a couple of years ago. At first, I thought it was one of those commercials that starts as a parody only to be interrupted by the real commercial as it shatters the promises that were made in the parody. Nope. It was real.

In keeping with the April Fool's theme at some point this year I will give this Hollywood Cookie Diet a shot.

Date: 4-5-2014

Due date: 4-5-2015

Resolution: Some people claim that it's foolish to play the lottery. That qualifies this experiment for my April Fools series of resolutions!

Washington State's Power Ball draws its numbers every Wednesday and Saturday at two dollars a ticket. Starting this Wednesday… and then continuing on for an entire year… I'll enter every one of the Power Ball drawings. If I happen to be out of the state during any of these drawings I will enter the local equivalent lotto drawing where ever I am.

To make it interesting I'm going to ask for your help in picking my numbers. I need 5 numbers between 1 and 59 and 1 bonus number between 1 and 35 for a grand total of 6 numbers.

I will take 1 number from the first 6 people that choose to play along and use this combination as the numbers I will play for each drawing. If you are chosen and I win the jackpot I will share some of my winnings with you (TBD.)

Wish me luck!

Date: 4-6-2014

Date: 4-6-2015

Resolution: Luckily I have a lot of flaws that people offer magic pills to fix. Because of this, the whole April Fools resolution is going to be pretty easy to keep going.

While searching for a magic elixir to battle my issue with male pattern baldness the thought crossed my mind as to what would happen if I were to try one that was made for women. That novel idea didn't last long until I figured that the differences had to do with triggering hormones or something along that line.

Then I stumbled upon a gem on Amazon. A race-based answer to hair loss! I'll admit, though I was willing to try the female hair loss product, the hormone questions made me a tiny bit nervous. If anything I'm excited for any side effects that may stem from taking designer supplements not meant for me ethnically!!!

Date: 4-7-2014

Due date: 4-7-2015

Resolution: In searching for resolutions that stick to the theme of April Fools I naturally found myself perusing the As Seen On TV website. Whether or not any of these products are actual BS, you can't help but feel like a fool when you find yourself thinking, "You know, I really want to try that!"

Again, doubting your sanity has nothing to do with this product. Your doubt in self stems from, the insane over-acting of the people living without the magical product in question, how crazy these people are when they try to use the standard item that’s readily available, the psychotic testimonials of how negatively this mundane matter is affecting these mental patients and how over the moon they by the slight improvement their lives are now that they have not only one but two of these magical items that you think you MIGHT be interested in trying.

That said I'm going to sound like one of these mental patients as I explain why I'm choosing this product to experiment with. Here we go...

Since starting this new job I am on my feet ALL day. By the time I get home from work, my feet are KILLING me. I've tried insoles in the past and they’re nice when they’re new, but they always end up bunching up and sliding around eventually leaving my shoes more uncomfortable than my shoes were before I bought the insoles. That's why when I saw that you actually strap STRUTZ CUSHIONED ARCH SUPPORTS in place I knew I had to at least give it a shot. Also that kangaroo thingy of a mascot kind of reminds me of something from either Rocko's Modern Life or Duck Man... I don't really know why?

(SIDE NOTE: Good news for those of you who actually follow along. Starting this Friday I’ll be caught up financially and will be able to start ordering the products that I've been promising to experiment with.)

I can't wait to share!!!