Dateline 5-25-2017

I really wish that my drive to write fiction was as strong as it was a couple years ago when I got so lost in the fictitious world that I was building that I damn near lost my mind because last night I came up with the perfect idea to continue to tie all of my narrative work together. Hell, this new storyline could potentially even tie this non-fiction blog into the megaverse that I hope to get down on paper before I die. 

Dateline 5-24-2017

Yesterday I was expressing my concerns about depression vs quality of work, or at least the quality of topic that I choose to explore. This is kind of a reoccurring theme when it comes to these Daily Breaker posts. I just want to be clear that at this point, now that I have an actual challenge on, this content quality that I am concerned about specifically refers to this segment of my site.

Dateline 5-23-2017

Great, now I'm feeling in a much better mood but now it feels like my mind is closed off to the content that I wanted to create as I felt depression coming on. I do think that I can get back into while not depressed, but it's going to take a little time to figure out how to do so without access to that frame of thinking.

Dateline 5-22-2017

I think that I managed to avoid the deep depression that I felt coming on as I now feel back to my normal boring self. As I said in a post a couple days ago, I really think that these daily post where I explore what is going on in my head helps me avoid going too deep especially when I honestly work through what's going on rather than constantly trying to reassure an audience of zero that I'm doing perfectly fine the way that I used to.

Dateline 5-21-2017

One of the things that I miss the most about my past life in Seattle was how I and my group of friends would get together every Sunday for brunch. We did this consistently for so long that it felt like it was the only event that gave my life a sense of stability, plus it was the perfect way to both end and start a week.

Dateline 5-20-2017

It turns out that expressing the thoughts that preoccupy my mind, via these Daily Breaker posts really helps to settle me down. Over the past two days, I've been writing about a deep depression that I felt was coming my way. Even though I'm pretty confident that no one who I actually know takes the time to read my ramblings, throwing these feelings out to the world, like a message in a bottle, helps to even me out.

Dateline 5-19-2017

I often joke that I have taken the adage, "Live every day as if it were going to be your last; for one day you're sure to be right," to heart in that I spend most of my days crying as I look back in regret then finish off the day sedating myself to the point where I don't feel or fear my transition out of existence and then go on to point out that it's a horrible piece of advice for those who are suffering from depression.

Dateline 5-18-2017

I don't know what's going on with me. I, at the same time, feel both an optimism about my efforts and progress with this site and my big picture plans but at the same time, I feel a wash of depression coming over me that I just don't feel like dealing with at this time. I mean, I just got caught up with everything which triggered the enthusiasm that I thought would lead to a productive week.

Dateline 5-17-2017

Yesterday was pretty successful if I do say so myself. The internet only crapped out a few times but it wasn't significant enough to really delay my day. Because of this, I was able to get everything done by 4:00 in the PM. I probably could have been able to get done earlier if I didn't develop bad habits while my internet kept crashing. 

Dateline 5-16-2017

Well, yesterday ended up being a half success. I fit in all of my self-imposed blogging obligations and fit in all of my steps, but unfortunately, my internet still drops out for about four hours a day making it so that I can't get back to my job hunt or participate in any of the classes that I want to get back into.

Dateline 5-15-2017

Over the past few days, I kept saying how I was taking things easy to rest up for today where I planned to hit the ground running as I return to my usual scheduled programming. Hopefully, that didn't come across as some sort of big build up to a new feature on this site because my enthusiasm was based on the fact that I finally got caught up with my life after two weeks of letting non-obligatory tasks slide due to jury duty and internet issues.

Dateline 5-14-2017

I hate being a weirdo magnet. That's not to say that I have a run in with a weirdo every time I leave the house but every time there is a weirdo in my proximity they seem to lock onto me and it almost seems like there is an outside force that makes them have to interact only to expose how much of a weirdo I am.

Dateline 5-13-2017

Yesterday ended up being a pretty successful day. Not only is my place clean enough to relieve the subliminal stressors that are caused by clutter but I also managed to set up the layout for my next three SNL reviews and it only took me about half an hour.

Dateline 5-12-2017

Yesterday was my first day back to my regular schedule after finally getting caught up on some behind the scenes work that piled up for two weeks due to obligations and delays that I promised I wouldn't talk about anymore because I need to treat these posts like they are letters to the same no one that doesn't require daily refreshers as to what I am talking about. 

Dateline 5-11-2017

Yesterday was my first day with uninterrupted internet for the first time since Friday. It felt so nice to be able to get to everything that I needed without any frustrating delays. This allowed me to finally get caught up on the several tasks that I back-burnered during my stint of jury duty.

Dateline 5-10-2017

It's crazy how different my writer mind thinks at night versus how it thinks in the daytime. There used to be a time where I wouldn't even attempt to write until the sun went down but that was back when I was purely writing fiction and I needed the late night energy to fully get into whatever world I was creating. 

Dateline 5-9-2017

I'm now on day five of fighting with my internet. This really sucks because I started the day excited to share my latest sense of optimism. For one, Ellen Burstyn liked my post with the review of her appearance on SNL. Though I have no idea if she actually read said review, it’s nice to see evidence that there’s at least some growing awareness of this project.

Dateline 5-8-2017

Why is it that I drag ass more when I get a lot of sleep than when I barely get any sleep at all. Though I usually feel the benefits of extra slumber, it feels like it takes me forever to get up and going even after completing my morning routine. 

Dateline 5-7-2017

Yesterday ended up being pretty much a repeat of the day before, minus the booze that is. I woke up nice and early and wanted to get everything done as quickly as possible so I could have total control over the bulk of my Saturday.

Dateline 5-6-2017

In yesterday's post, I predicted that it was going to be a bit of a waste of a day. Little did I know but that prediction came true in a very annoying way. Where I was hoping to knock out all of my obligations for the day to start some mid-day drinking, I ended up waiting all day for my internet to work well enough to be able to finish my work.