Dateline 8-13-2017

I think it was around the time that Barack Obama was reelected that I started to lose my interest in satire. Where I used to see the back handed jokes as an important way to dumb down a message for the common citizen to consume when the topic at hand would normally not pique their interest. I now see the blending of humor and bad news as more of a way to soften the blow by addressing the issue as a joke by starting the story with outrage and boiling down to the point where there is nothing left to do but laugh.

Dateline 8-12-2017

I guess when I say that I am going to take a break, I mean that I am going to take a break from the outside world as yesterday I planned to take it easy only to end up working on Phase III of my prep-work plan for my SNL reviews. Once again, I put in a full eight hour day not counting the time it took me to fulfill my self-imposed obligations for the day.

Dateline 8-11-2017

Today is the start to my decompressing weekend. If you are interested in knowing what I am decompressing from just go ahead and read some of my past posts from this week as I've already dwelled on it enough and it wasn't all that eventful of an issue to warrant the time that I've already given the topic being that the stress that I am decompressing from was something internal that was going on in my head and I admit, even as far as personal problems go, this one was much to do about nothing and not that big of a deal.

Dateline 8-10-2017

Alright, now that everything is back to normal, it may be time to revisit/restate my intentions with this site as I feel the need to remind myself or anyone else who stumbles onto this site what I am trying to accomplish and why there might be times where the quality of my work might fall short of what a pro would put out to the world.

Dateline 8-9-2017

Today is yet another late start for me, making it at least the third time this week that I've posted my Daily Breaker segment of the site past 12:00 in the PM... AKA noon. Today's late start is due to the fact that my oldest younger sister is returning home to Colorado in a couple hours so rather than starting out my day in hermit mode, I figured I'd hang out until she left for the airport.

Dateline 8-8-2017

Hm, today is going to be an interesting day. You know how I say that I drink about twice a month? Well, I always for get to add that this means I will buy a bunch of alcohol to then binge drink for two to three days depending on how well I'm doing financially.

Dateline 8-7-2017

Alright, I think things have finally stabilized to where I am extremely close to being back to my usual routine. Yeah, my little sister is still in town but she's here by herself and just hangs out at the house to where there is no extra pressure on me. And again, the pressure I'm talking about stems from having to turn people down due to my social anxiety when deep down, I really wish I still had it in me to play.

Dateline 8-6-2017

One of the things that suck about being mental is how once you get distance from an event that set off your anxieties it's easy to see how you overreacted which then just adds guilt and sorrow to the thoughts that clutter your mind. 

Dateline 8-5-2017

Sorry if my Daily Breaker posts over the past couple days made it sound like I was living through some sort of major ordeal where I've been wronged or treated unfairly. To be clear, the main issue that I was struggling with had to do with my social anxiety to where I was mentally tormenting myself over perceived pressures to hang out with family members who were in town who I used to feel really close to but now feel like a borderline stranger when they're around due to the fact that I lost the feeling of self over the past several years to where I no longer have a grasp as to how I relate to anyone.

Dateline 8-4-2017

I've been up for a couple hours now, sitting at this computer, thinking of something to say but for some reason, my brain seems void of thoughts, at least not anything worth expanding on here or at least not at this moment. Most of the time when this happens I can usually just ramble through it but this feels a little different as it feels more like I'm stuck in the middle of a bad case of writer's block.

Dateline 8-3-2017

Right now I am in the worst possible head space for me when it comes to writing. The sad thing is, this is probably the healthy head space for me to be in but at that same time, I hate it. First off, my head feels clear as all the things that I've been stressing over for the past couple days are over and done with so I don't have scenarios running through my head about the potential emotional stress that I knew would come with being around a lot of people.

Dateline 8-2-2017

So yesterday happened. 

Dateline 8-1-2017

Well, today is going to be an interesting day. I have about twenty family members coming over to my house because my cousin, who was like an older brother to me when I was young, and now haven't talked to in close to a decade, is in town with his family on their vacation from Texas where they live.

Dateline 7-31-2017

Even though I've been writing daily posts about what I was up to on any given day for the past four plus years now, I still find that in real life, the hardest question for me to answer from friends is, "What have you been up to?"

Dateline 7-30-2017

Is it weird that I fantasize about writing more than anything else? Even as I write this, in the back of my head I'm daydreaming of the day that I could afford my own place in the middle of nowhere, with just me, my thoughts and my trusty computer for my fingers to dance with while I try my hardest to translate the thoughts that are going on in my head into consumable stories.

Dateline 7-29-2017

Finally... All of the issues that I've been complaining about over the past couple days have now boiled down to a point where everything is manageable. The depression that I felt sneaking on at the beginning of the week that died down a couple days ago when I got my paycheck allowing me to get back to business as usual, but I was still dealing with a stomach bug, a bad back, and a surprise toothache.

Dateline 7-28-2017

Oh my god, this has been a rough past couple weeks. First of there was my brief encounter with a mini bout of depression that has since gone away after my paycheck came through and I was able to afford to be back to the task the that has been keeping my mind too preoccupied, not allowing my thoughts to have the time to venture into my world of inner misery. 

Dateline 7-27-2017

Alright, my head is back in the game and I think I was right in that the inciting incident that started to get down was due to the fact that I took a break from my highly productive days doing prep-work for my SNL reviews while waiting on a paycheck in order to re-up my subscription to the service that I get my screen captures from.

Dateline 7-26-2017

Sometimes I really hate the way that my brain works. If you follow my progress at all then might have notice I start to get down for no apparent reason at least once every couple months. Though these feelings of depression don't feel ever-present like they did from one year prior to my decision to leave Seattle up until the beginning of this year, it's still super rough because these feeling can randomly come out of nowhere to last anywhere from a couple hours up to two weeks at the most.

Dateline 7-25-2017

Yesterday ended up being a weird one. First off, I woke up super early haunted by memories from a time in my life when I was genuinely hopeful and I actually did have fun. This sent my mind down some dark paths as I retraced the steps that got me to where I am, solidifying the reality that there is no going back and all that I have to look forward to is a late life filled with boredom.